Rejuvenated by Joy
Transcipt
00;00;01;29 - 00;00;28;14
With who? Welcome to episode four of season three of The Puzzlers. I am your host, Catherine Guillard, and I'm here with all of our wonderful team. Stu. Hello, Tracy. Hello, Val. Hi. And our awesome producer, Nicole. Hello there. We are here to talk about one of my favorite topics. Joy. Even when we were just on our break. I was so excited.
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So, ladies and gentlemen that are listening, I have such great joy to be with you today. I am really excited about this episode. I have a lot of focus on joy. I've done a lot of studying on joy. I actually have a master coach certification as a happiness Coach, and we're probably going to talk about happiness versus joy today, I'm guessing.
00;00;48;09 - 00;01;10;02
And I have been called pretty joyful by people. So what does that even mean to be full of joy? And is joy happiness? I know everybody is already thinking that if you have been with us on our journey so far, you probably know a bit about what gives me joy. I can't imagine maybe maybe your practice and working with people.
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But for the people, transformational coaching, connecting with people, Moments of freedom and breakthrough wisdom. People living their lives to the full and truly feeling at home and being who they are made to be, breaking free from dysfunction and lies and leaning into being rewired with joy and laughter and connection. And I can't help talk about it all the time, because it is the greatest joy for me.
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And so as we've been talking about rejuvenation, maybe like me, you listeners and fellow puzzlers have been noticing that certain themes and repeating ideas come up for some of our puzzler team. And maybe, like you, you've been processing about what each of our joyful identities look like. Today we're going to talk more about joy, what it is, what fuels it, what depletes it, our tendency towards certain ways of being full and what completes our joy, what God might have to do with it.
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We use the word joy all the time. But do we really understand what it means? Do we have misperceptions about it? And does it mean the same thing to each of us? Stay with us for going to on a puzzling adventure about joy. And these questions will be our roadmap as we go on into this episode. I'm hoping as you buckle up with us, you will come away knowing more truth about joy, knowing each of us a little bit more, knowing yourself a little bit more.
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And if you are up for it, knowing God a little bit more too. I'm pretty pumped, as you know. So let's get started. Let's start joy riding racing. Okay, so let's just start with the concept of joy. What is joy to you? We're going to take an adventure of defining the word in terms of a group mind map.
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So if you're listening on, please be thinking with us right now. To do so, I'm going to ask each of you that are listening to Close Your Eyes and think of a joy memory picture for a moment, the last joy moment that came to your mind as you are thinking of that. What words describe that moment as you contemplate this joy?
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Memory for me. It's the puzzlers looking at our baby pictures, curious and laughing, relating and connecting. Those are the words that come to mind for me. Thinking of what God made us to be. How about you ladies? What words come to mind as you contemplate joy in this joy, memory, or other words? Well, is mine a joy memory?
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But I can share some of the joy pieces, if you would. I think again, the birth and the joyous joy is that happy Puppy's tail. I was commenting that that playfulness. Having dogs in our life has had a lot of challenge and rejuvenation, but the play and the joy and I've found such joy recently in the fact that their tails even wag like that.
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They don't need to. That joy. But joy is also, I find, as I watch for it in my day to day when I, you know, kind of I work from home, I go up to the bathroom and my friend who actually has one of our puppies for my first litter, gifted me with this beautiful, large prison. And I love prisms.
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And my upstairs hall just is flooded with rainbows and those like little things in the ordinary day. And I really love that you're leading this topic because like we said it once, it is so slippery, right? And it's, I think it's contagious and exciting. I love that it comes for comes to us like interruptions often when I can do that.
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I think that I love Webster's 1828 dictionary. Get off and go to that. And joy is one that I'd gone to long before. And part of it is just like joy is a delight of the mind. From the consideration of the present or assured approaching possession of a good. And so it's very intertwined to hope. Yes, yes. Possession.
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There's something of joy, not even in the having, but knowing that there's good in the world and lose heart. If I didn't see there was good in the world. And so for me, ultimately, joy is really not a thing. But it's this deep, abiding awareness of the presence of God who really wants to spend life with me. Enjoy the adventure.
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And then the experience of joy is like that bubbling up of a fountain. So why it picture is joy and laughter is joy. It's the both end of a puppy's prism. So I, I love that Tracy because one of the things that I was thinking about with this was sort of small joy, which is that abiding undercurrent that gives me a perspective in how I see the world, how I find and see beauty, how all of that.
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Yes. But then I have the capital G joy, which is that it's that moment that just washes in on you. It's it's impromptu. It takes you by surprise and and you're just filled with the sense that it can't get any better than this. So joy will bring split. Yes. Sorry. It's like joy with an exclamation mark. Those with a capital J and an exclamation point.
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And it probably has periods between each. Less like, you know, sparklers. Yeah. You know. Yeah. It's bolded on your computer. You get it? Like it's just. But that is something that finds you where I find it. The small joy, that abiding joy is something that I. I do seek it and I nurture it. Yeah. So there's, there's sort of the.
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Yeah. For me sort of the two pieces of abstaining. Yeah. Yeah. Just small all the way like a spiritual joy I would say it's spiritual for me. I would say it's the knowing that God is present, that there is hope that there is an underlying foundation. It's more than contentment or satisfaction. It's just life is life is good.
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As opposed to, oh my goodness, in this moment, it's bubbling up and it's gleeful and it's so those are my two total like joy and joy and joy and knowing it doesn't depend on me. Correct. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah, I love that. We've already sort of like categorize that there's more than one kind of joy. Yeah. That's that's awesome and super helpful for my brain.
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Right. I when I close my eyes and I thought of joy, I just thought of last night because I was at a very joyful fundraising dinner, and, I don't know, I just love the connection with people, the low lighting, the plants everywhere, the the beautiful food. Just the connection, all of us like working towards something together.
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Then there was testimonies of restoration. The whole thing was just brought me, I guess, capital joy. Also, an undergirding joy was there as well, because I knew I just was just confirming of what God's doing. So it's like there is a lot going on and joy last night for me. Beautiful. I love it. So a lot of similar words coming out and yet we have.
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So let's just I have all different words as well. Yeah. Do you have more. Let's go. Light happiness, full heart, glimpses into something bigger home, which is a big theme from, it's, security, steadiness, hope, flicker of light. The full out warmth of the sun. Fields of flowers, fireworks. Right. When you see the flicker of a candlelight, it is a firework explosion, which is excitement and kind of peace.
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Yeah, I had elation. Yeah. Glee is one of my words, which is something I use often. But, you know, when you just get that, it's like it's almost a tingle through your whole body. Yes. Yeah. And there might be things wrong, but in that moment, you don't even see them again. Blind it out. Yeah. And I love that because joyous has something that coexists.
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Yeah. Always. Right. So I remember walking through grief and realizing joy and grief can actually coexist. Right. Joy doesn't go away. It's different. Yeah that's right. But that's where the sustaining which certainly. Yeah. You know we all speak to it in different ways but so that it's not and I think you'll come to that. It's it's not a temporary something clicks through something grounding.
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Yeah. Absolutely. Because we can get really tipped by what you're saying. Grief and I think we're gonna enter into that when we talk about what's going to take our joy or or deplete our joy. Right. And how do we hold on to joy at the same time? What a great opening conversation. Lots of different words in there.
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Nods. Everybody's excited. And each of each of our is exactly the same. No, we have some resonance. There are some things that are similar. And as I was prepping today, I actually really thought that we were going to end up with a fight about whether joy and happiness were the same. And so buckle up, ladies and listeners, because interestingly, as I searched through the Bible and what others have searched through from the Bible, I realized that the Scripture actually interchanges words like joy and happiness along with contentment, rejoicing, gladness.
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For those of us who want to debate whether joy does include happiness, people often get a picture that we must choose either happiness or holiness. But on this adventure, we're going to see that that is not the case. People often say that joy is Jesus first, others second, yourself last. Because anyone heard that? No. Is that actually joy?
00;10;56;04 - 00;11;21;08
That's actually a recipe for serving. That's serving. Right? And action. If we lean into that, we can actually lean into joyless living because we're not driving on a full tank of joy. We've looked at pressures to lead from other meaningful pieces of living on purpose that are guarding our heart and mind and body. So the truth is, you're you're talking about levels of joy.
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And it's really interesting because what they're finding is that peace is low level joy, and joy is high level, like exalting mirth, right? Like all of those things. So peace is just like deep contentment and connectedness and hope, right? All those words that you're talking about and so often actually peace as a precursor for us to be able to like, return to joy, that we actually have to have that grounding of truth and hope and all of that to be able to then stay in joy.
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So yeah, really connected. It's very exciting. I can't wait. I wish we had two hours ACL, right? Maybe next season. Yeah, yeah, we'll talk to the producer. Maybe one of the most maybe. Yeah. Guys, I have one of the most interesting and possibly insightful definitions I found was the sparkle or twinkle in someone's eye. A mutual mind state that I am glad to be with you.
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Effect of our mirror neurons. The thought and science of joy actually leads us to see that we have a joyful identity, and the joy level of each person begins from our mirror neurons firing as we are wired to joy from the eyes lighting up to see one another. It develops from attachment, connection. The glad to be with you.
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For those of us who are not sated, for those of us talking on the phone, or even those of us listening in this podcast, it's also activated with swappable for very subtle vocal sounds. And if we don't have some of our other senses, touch and smell. So I'm thinking of the quote that you use right now. The neuro theologians Chris Fauci, James Wilder and others write so much about joy in the resources, programs, and books.
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I'm an official joy nerd and in kind and addition to the other books I have, I have about 12 to 15 of their books. Did you know that our pathway to joy can grow? It can actually be cultivated. We can actually have one third of our brain neural connectors receiving and feedback loops returning us to joy. We can cultivate it, stay in it, go back to it, even in hard circumstances.
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Despite whether we grew up in a lower Joy household or a higher joy household, it can and will grow. So the types of joy we won't be talking about here are guilty pleasures. Things that are fake, involving something hollow or shallow, like beeps. They're called behaviors. Experiences, events, people and substances. Things that are fickle, like circumstantial. Things that are fading, like our talent and our possessions, but things that are forever and in fact, each time we call them to mind, they bring joy.
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Not a dopamine hit, but something that is actually a mind map with a link back to joy that we can return to again. And again. Like you said, Tracy, this practice of remembering a joy story. It helps us to have a feedback loop to joy, to what we think of will matter and does matter. It's pretty cool stuff for you ladies.
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So we're going to talk now about Joy tanks and our joy styles. And I can't wait. It's going to help us define the word even more. So ladies I'm going to just go here first. Does your Joy tank ever get really full or really empty. And how does it affect you mind, body and spirit? We're going to lean into this with stories to share.
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But first of all, let's see if we are united or are we are different in terms of our question about does it what depletes or steals your joy? Let's go there first. See if for similar what depletes or steals your joy? Well, for me it's things that are futile. Things that I can't control. Maybe the news lately or, if my kids are struggling with something that I can't, you know, make better for them.
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Of course. Grief, these types of things, I would say busyness depletes my my joy the most. Just a sense of being thin, stretched thin, and not having the time to really focus and feel like I'm doing anything. Well, because you're just trying to stay on top of all that stuff. Yeah. That depletion of going through the motions.
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Yeah. Right. So it's kind of comes I think depleting joy is often trying to figure things out on my own. Right. Instead of just remembering you know oh it's okay. Take those breaths. And on a really practical level it can be an either or for me. My take can be empty when I haven't spent enough time alone.
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And it can be empty when I haven't spent enough time with people. And so it's those both places, and there are other things, but those and I think probably one of the things that just really steals joy is comparison to each other. But that's so often. So yeah, the and even also more than comparison for me, which actually isn't my highest thing, it's my own self expectations that can come into play.
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So it's not like, what's that person doing? But what am I, what's my own measuring stick has historically not so much in my life now I don't know. Yeah. That's so good. That's so good. Yeah I've, I've got a lot of similar to you all of you overthinking anxiety even unforgiveness. Right. Something cycling back in your mind.
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Guilt, shame regret pain. Feeling over responsible about something. Too busy. Grief loss dysfunction. One of the best summary of what steals our joy, I think, is from Ashari to to choose book. Delighting in Jesus. And it isn't her name, just the finest. Yeah. So I just feel like. And it's pretty interesting because her name, Asher Rita is God is my happiness.
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Sometimes both that and last name to choose just really fun. So. But she summarizes joy stealers as burdens, brokenness and burnout or busyness. Right. So brokenness as in like the dysfunction and sin of the world and burdens as the things that we carry on us, right. And burnout and busyness as becoming too busy. Any low joy stories? What happens to you when you are depleted?
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What happens to your mind, body, spirit?
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That's easy for me when that's empty. Is that when I am depleted, my mind goes into overdrive? Am I just in that it it's a both and because my mind goes into overdrive and everything else goes into stasis and stagnation. So like when I am drained, not rejuvenated, you know, not feel this joy like I actually my issues, I actually just stop eating like I have to choose eating.
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And I becomes more self dependent. And, you know, that's going back to going through the motions. But yeah, my mind goes overdrive and everything else goes into stasis. So good. So we're talking right now about when our joy, when our joy tank is really low. Yeah. And how that affects us. And that's, that's so good.
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Anybody else. I would say paralysis is very much very close to what you're talking about. Tracy. I think I just just a different word. But when you get so busy that you don't know where to start. Yeah. And so you do nothing. And then by the end of the day, you're frustrated with yourself and in a worse state because you've really accomplished none of the things that you even started to need to do.
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So that that cycle of, it just puts you in a deeper hole tumbling. Yeah. Maybe it's just sort of for me, when I think of when my joy tank is depleted, it's like just sort of a sad way of living. Yeah. It's just I'm, I'm prone, like we talked about last, podcast to see beauty quite easily.
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But if my joy is depleted, I'm not even looking for it. Yeah. And that's kind of. That's just sad, like, I, I love the thought of living every day to the fullest, and I, I don't I don't want to live joy depleted. Right. That's right. Yeah, yeah. And that's over time. Well so we can do something about it.
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Right. Awareness is key. So for myself, it affects my emotions, my relationships, my energy level, my view of God. I feel disconnected, the world seems all bad. It affects how I see God, how I see myself, how I see others dark and, achy. Yeah, disconnected is probably the best word. I just feel really disconnected from purpose.
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Everything. And so that's why we go at it. So what's the difference? What happens when your joy tank is really full?
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The word that I would use is integrated, and it's similar to what you said there. But like, my mind becomes a team player, you know? And then the rest is like, I'm more open. Particularly I'm more open to community and connection, which I love and fuel me. But when that that mind is not taking over and just more active doing things I enjoy, like entering into those things and even, like we said, the little things you're still doing the day to day, but there's a pizzazz to it.
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There's just a something, there's a lightness that kind of lifts and you're still doing the same thing, but it is done with a different presence, a different energy, different twinkle. You said the beginning, so that kind of comes within that. That's true. So that's so good. I use the words, I'm energized. I'm definitely more creative. When I get in that joyless, busy, exhausted kind of state, I, I've got no sense of creativity, or even desire to create.
00;21;33;08 - 00;21;57;08
It's it's just this this is a really depressing conversation right now. We are going to move on to Joy. I love joy right now. Yeah, I know I went backwards, but no, I mean it that the creativity spark that comes when I am full of joy is. And what's really cool is that when I get to create, that then feeds the joy.
00;21;57;11 - 00;22;22;22
It is just because it's a, it's a happy place. So, yeah, I would say I feel more relaxed. My body feels more relaxed when I feel joy. You kind of. When you feel joy, you can't really focus on the things that are stressing you out. So it just relaxes my body, which is why you're more creative soon, right?
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Because our nervous system totally more relaxed. And so you have more mental space, right? To just like that creative side can't can't thrive in an environment that's not open. So yeah, I would say, yeah, really go into that fight and flight again. Right? We are losing our joy. Yeah. We feel frozen. That might be like, right, like the shutdown of your nervous system.
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So. Good. Yeah. For me, if I am full, I feel like I am able to be like that word home again. Like the missed me. I could ever be right doing the thing I should be. Doctors who. Yeah, I could never be. Get it? That's right. So when I'm. When I'm there, I'm. I'm holding my values and my priorities.
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I'm not living in perfectionism. I'm balanced and able to return back from upsets or difficult emotions or our relationship struggles. Right? It's almost like we were made for joy, you know? Right? Yeah. So we're going to come back. Catherine, I want to I want to practice how to have more joy because I, I'd like to be that homey version of myself as much as possible.
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Yes. So how do we do that. Yes. Well yeah. Like ladies do you monitor your joy tank. And do you plan for filling it up consciously like that. Let's go there. Because that was like tell me, tell me. And I'm sure all the listeners are us. Yeah. It was years ago when I went through Crohn's. I was really seriously sick.
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And when I was in the hospital, God gave me three pictures and I returned to this because it really was. This is this is my map. Worship. When I worship, it leads me to peace. And when I'm at peace, I go into enlightenment. Right? So worship peace. Enlightenment is kind of like a three step and you can't get joy with.
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He gave me three pictures and I sketched them. And then I got the the names of them. But worship leads to peace. When you're at peace, you can find enlightenment, which is very closely linked in. Yeah. But and again. Right. We link we actually need to be at that place of peace, not invite in flight, not in fear, but the reason worship works.
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I just want to clarify that is because it puts you in your right place. Totally. When you're in worship and you remember who God is. Yeah, it puts everything else into perspective. Yeah. When you make sure it's it's. And that's why we talked about in nature. We talked about it in beauty. These things all show us who God is in his greatest sense of of of power and authority.
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And so that's why that's why it brings that balance to me. Yeah. And to you, which is going to be so fun because we're going to talk more about joy styles and how God wired us, because that might not be the one that brings everybody back. I can't wait for this conversation. Yeah. How about you, Tracy? I do monitor, and one of the things about joy is comes from a physical space too.
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So I didn't mention the emptying, but like seasonal affective disorder, I've had to learn to be very conscious of the seasons and the dark and all of that. Vitamin D has been a piece of that being outside in slash sometimes. But, a neuro patch that I use, a full spectrum light, these things that are really deliberate.
00;25;44;21 - 00;26;02;29
Yeah. But also like little choices. And so actually I do have some little I think I could be better at monitoring joy. I liked the question. Like to be really doing it. Like sometimes I'm monitoring it because I know I'm getting a little snappy. Right. Because that's kind of like, oh wait, I'm. Which is better to recognize that sooner than just being snappy.
00;26;03;00 - 00;26;30;19
Yeah, right. But I also have a little ritual I have I love grapefruit. Grapefruit is a very enlivening scent and thing for me, and I have a cream that I put on every morning and it's called happy. Oh, okay. It's funny, but I very deliberately even began when it was quite dark in my life. Kind of put, I choose to put on happy today and I always stop to smell it before I put it in, put it on.
00;26;30;21 - 00;26;49;19
And then I realized the connection to when I see something that just really brings me joy that I hadn't named until. Your question is, I love, pure grapefruit juice, not grape juice. Like, you know, I get it sweetened with other stuff in a small little glass that is the same as I had in my childhood, which is.
00;26;49;21 - 00;27;17;26
Yeah. So that and so I've been very deliberately when I have going, this is joy. Like I'm drinking joy, right? I'm putting joy on. I'm taking joy in and trying to really be aware of it as a much more multi-sensory, experience by naming the things that I already experience. I love that. I love that because that picture that I brought when we did our little activity with me, with my face, that was grapefruit, I was right, like, I love grapefruit.
00;27;17;26 - 00;27;42;21
So I really resonate with that. Yeah. I also love that you ladies are talking about how where your body is at, where your chemistry is at, will affect your ability to live spiritually. Receive joy, see, enjoy. Right? Like so and intertwined. So really good conversation, Anything you want to add, Val, I bought you. I mean, I haven't really considered a joy tank.
00;27;42;22 - 00;28;13;02
I thought of a capacity tank because we talked about before. But I haven't really thought of filling up a joy tank or depleting a joy tank. I feel like I'm a fairly joyful person. Yeah. And so again, that comes a bit more easily to me. I think, Joy, do you think this. I don't know if you guys think this, but it comes more easily if you're like, maybe a more positive person or a more negative person that might impact you.
00;28;13;02 - 00;28;37;22
That's where I was talking about the neuroscience of it. Right. Like it based on what's happened to us in our in our childhood, as well as obviously our wiring and our temperament, that's going to affect us. But we can always grow in our ability to hold it like the one third connection of our brain. And so some of us will have naturally those connections more from the things that we've experienced.
00;28;37;24 - 00;28;54;29
And some of us can purposefully grow those. And to do that, we have to have these conversations, right? Because so many of us go, the the joy of the Lord is our strength, and God gives us as a spiritual gift. And we just pray for it. And it's like, how does that all work? Yeah. How does that actually translate into day to day living?
00;28;54;29 - 00;29;15;24
And this is the practical conversation. I'm really excited and hopeful that will have. So joy is not elusive. We do get to co labor in letting the fruit fill us. We need joy filled boundaries. I think that's what some of you are talking about right? In your day, in your time, in your rhythm of rest and renewal, we need to monitor what's on our plate.
00;29;15;24 - 00;29;40;22
Like, you know, if it's all these outputs and they're actually like stressful or grievous or like the things that can be depleting our joy, right? And we don't have the things that actually fill it up. It's not going to counterbalance the way Philippians four talks about joy in steadfastness. That was one of the words, right? So if you think about that low level joy being peace, it's in this.
00;29;40;22 - 00;29;59;10
It's a it's a appeal for steadfastness and unity. So my brothers and sisters, whom I love and long for my joy and crown, literally cause in their joy and stand firm in the Lord. And then goes on and I'm just going to go up to verse four, rejoice in the Lord always. I say it again, rejoice. Let your gentleness be.
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Even the Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation with prayer and petition, thanksgiving present your requests and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, can guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus. So we're looking at that like it's like, hey guys, if you're in fighting flight, we gotta do something about it.
00;30;17;27 - 00;30;34;13
Let's get us back into peace with the Lord Jesus. And here are the keys, right? He wants to help us not to be anxious. He wants us to be able to look at what we're grateful for. I'm not surprised nobody talks about gratitude in that way. Joy is so linked to that too. Right? But here's the peace at the end.
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Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, excellent, praiseworthy think about these things, put it into practice, and God's peace will be with you. So it's it's important for us to really think about what we're thinking. Oh, yeah, what we think about what matters in our ability to connect to joy.
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And each of us have a like a different style of how that's going to be the ability to refocus our hearts and minds, and for the fun of everybody and thinking about cultivating our joy. I have a challenge for us right now because we are unique in this. God made you, you, you, you, you, you and all the people listening.
00;31;19;16 - 00;31;42;17
You and worry are not the same. And if we really understand, we can both understand each other. Yeah. Instead of trying to put each other in a box. Right. And we can understand ourselves, which is really exciting. So the challenge I have for the puzzlers is that each of them have a piece of paper coming with. Now, you may have seen a brief, you know, you weren't so big reveal.
00;31;42;17 - 00;32;05;05
This is taken from, Jennifer Duke's Lee book, The Happiness there. And there's going to be a link in the show notes for that as well, so that the puzzlers can take a peek at that with us. But it's a fun challenge of identifying each other. So you're going to you're going to read it out and we're going to decide which one of us in the puzzling team is.
00;32;05;05 - 00;32;22;04
That's their primary joy style. Each of us have secondary joy styles from our innate way. Okay, so we're gonna talk about our primary joy style. So I've asked Nicole if she'd join us as well. I'm kind of excited. And this has been the piece that I couldn't wait to do. We're see you about each other. Okay, so who wants to start?
00;32;22;04 - 00;32;43;18
Do you want to start? Sure. I'll start, I'll start. I'm just so everybody knows, we have not seen these. We're just reading off a piece of paper that Catherine gave us, so I do. Yes. The giver, the helpers, the sharers, the light bearers. The best way to happiness is the happiness in someone else for you. You make everyone else feel like a somebody.
00;32;43;21 - 00;33;02;02
Being seen as thoughtful and selfless makes you happy. Givers like to give to others and make them happy. They don't mind doing work behind the scenes, but others may not notice. Do we just have to? Yeah, we can't pause for a second because if you just take a look at all of our team, is there one that comes to mind?
00;33;02;02 - 00;33;21;02
Like, I think that might be their primary style that they operate in. We'll read them all before we lock in our vote. So be thinking as well, listening to this and just think about the fact that this is how God's wired us. Can I do a non puzzler comment to that one if I can. You mentioned earlier but the Jesus other and Yahoo!
00;33;21;05 - 00;33;45;17
Yeah but I really appreciate that you said about joy and service. Yes. Because my mom actually drove a joy bus. Yeah. She drove for school and and when I thought about that question that fuels our joy, it looked at like, what are the the joys with Jesus? That's not to with others in connection and community myself. Like the you part of times for what makes me me.
00;33;45;19 - 00;34;06;10
But it really touched my heart because she was what so just read. Yeah, her joy was to service. Her joy was to provide for her. So that was beautiful for me. Thank you. Came there, right? Yeah. And it's interesting too, because like, as we listened, we're also going to be thinking about like some of them, if they get skewed too.
00;34;06;10 - 00;34;25;19
Right. Like our gifts can be out of out of balance. We have to be careful that yes, we don't do the like. It's all about everybody else. Yeah. Yes, that person would have that tendency if that's their gifting. Right. Reminded me of Enneagram the any scale but yeah yeah yeah. Yes. Because joy is not in that order. Like yeah I'm like, Jesus, yeah, you.
00;34;25;19 - 00;34;44;02
But sometimes even when I looked at in my own notes like the why I had to jump forward. Yes, exactly. If we are not who we are, then we can't pour that into. Yeah, yeah. But I would like me to go ahead. Yes. My. Yes. So got the giver. Got the giver in mind says the relator. This individual enjoys deep connections with other people.
00;34;44;02 - 00;35;12;10
Positive meaningful relationship. This is the world of the invites. The lover of peoples, the soul connectors. Making room at the table is of high value. You allow yourself to be seen and have great desire to make safe places for others to be seen. Being described as loving makes you happy. This person might be the one who starts chatting to the person next to her on the airplane, and knows the person's whole life story by the end of the trip through later.
00;35;12;13 - 00;35;36;26
So we've got the giver, the relator. What do you have? The thinker this person needs time to spend alone, to have quiet and time for reflection. She loves reading, and at a party, she'd prefer to have an in-depth conversation with 1 or 2 people, rather than mingling and engaging in small talk with many people. Some people see the thinkers as aloof, but they're not.
00;35;36;28 - 00;36;11;06
They are. There's question Oscar's learning, pondering, dreaming, being called curious and wise makes you happy. So we have the giver, the relator and the thinker very answer. Oh thinker. Now we've got experiencer. Sorry. Yeah, yeah. So the experiencer. So this person doesn't place much value on physical objects and buying things, but on experiencing he or she would much prefer to take a spontaneous trip or adventure and live in the moment.
00;36;11;09 - 00;36;39;17
They're beauty seekers. They pay attention. Those wondrous, enthusiastic moment makers who enjoy spontaneity and have gratitude for the full list of moments and even some whimsy. Anything can be an experience and you are on the lookout. You may be at the party planning a whole group activity, or you could be on the deck looking at stars. I was and now I have the doer.
00;36;39;19 - 00;37;04;04
This person is ambitious and most happy completing tasks and being productive. Purposeful activity, goal setter, task juggler created to do and enjoy doing it well. This person appreciates the weekend but is happy to go back to work. Happy to be reliable the one others can count on. Ready to accomplish something? Lead a committee. Organize the fundraiser and when you're at someone's house, you may end up cleaning up the kitchen.
00;37;04;07 - 00;37;31;11
That's the doer. So we will behave like secondary styles, but a primary style. Think of which one is your primary style. And, let's actually like, contemplate each other. So in our group, who do you think is the doer? And you can tell us if we're right doer. Who do you think leans into that Joyce style? We could have no one in or everyone in one category?
00;37;31;12 - 00;37;54;10
Totally. I and I do see crossover. There's lots and lots of crossover. So it's so fun. I think Tracy is a doer, but I think it's her secondary. I agree you had doer person. Yeah, because I'm thinking you'll never find me in a kitchen cleaning up. Yeah, I know, that's Tracy's the Thinker. Yes I am, yeah. Are you guys.
00;37;54;12 - 00;38;20;05
You are, I think secondary styles and experiencer. Yeah. And relator's follow. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Some of it by choice. But hearing someone's entire story on a plane. Yeah. I'm either going to put in headphones and not talk to them, or I'm going to hear their life story by the end of the flight. Amaze, amaze. But yes, The Thinker was like, that's I think do or the organizational part, I think that speaks into your giftings.
00;38;20;06 - 00;38;40;13
I feel like you love productivity, like accomplishing something. Maybe not, I don't know, but but I think it may be 4 or 5, like, I, I don't think it's on the in the necessarily I see, I see Nicole as the doer. Maybe because but not exclusively. And I don't even know that it's your number one. It might be your number two, but I see it strong in you.
00;38;40;13 - 00;39;00;03
Just because you are so productive, you get things done in a very creative way. But you are you are very, I have a list and I'm going to complete it. And I think your giver and doer, like she's the behind the scenes one. She's the one that gave me the bracelet. You're the one that's the first one.
00;39;00;03 - 00;39;22;09
Like, I feel like you're the giver and the doer. I think she's the relator. Did you read giver, Nicole? Neither. I neither okay. Nor to her. I think it was. Help her. Yeah, yeah. No, I read, I read experiencer. That's that's what I read. I see that. I don't see me as either, really. I'm neither doer nor giver.
00;39;22;11 - 00;39;48;02
I think, maybe it's it's a manifestation of the wrong word, but it flows out of different style, and maybe it shows itself in these ways, but I, I wouldn't really say that's my main thing. I would put it over here with thinker for Nicole. There's a lot of and I would put rather that goes relator tied to tied.
00;39;48;02 - 00;40;10;16
Yeah. You know deep thoughts and thinking. But let me talk it through and community I love it. So much fun. Is it so integrated. We don't know each other. We don't write we there's a questionnaire I was going to say there we go. Is there a questionnaire where you can fill in the blanks and find out what your primary style and what your secondary styles are really informative and very fun.
00;40;10;16 - 00;40;31;13
I actually sat with my family and was like, what do you think I am? So, which one do you think I haven't looked? I would have to say. Really? Yeah. Because yeah, yeah, it's my primary so much as 20 see people. Yeah. And the other ones were very close right. Like thinker. So each of us are formed like specifically.
00;40;31;15 - 00;41;06;06
But it's really excited contemplating our group and all of the like balance that we make. Because isn't that the body of Christ. Yeah. Right. Like we are uniquely wired for certain things bring probably the high level joy where we're in the this is who I made to be that moment right where we are just fully like connecting to everything that God's poured into us and our unique, God given joy, style or happiness style is very linked also to our second question about how is Jesus part of that?
00;41;06;09 - 00;41;26;00
So if you think of that, do you think that maybe your unique style is also part of your acts of service and your worship of him, for sure, right. So exciting. So let's go to the next question and we'll let you explore that further. And we'll debate more about where we see each other, and we'll contemplate where we see ourselves.
00;41;26;02 - 00;41;58;12
Yeah. So good joy and Jesus. So how does God complete your joy? It's so interesting, all those comments that you just made. And I'm now thinking about what I, what I am air quotes. What am I? Yes. Well, well I think I'm relate. It's all about relationship for me. And what's interesting is that I had I had made some side notes as you prepare for as I prepared for all of these things and thinking about recent moments and.
00;41;58;15 - 00;42;27;28
They all have people in them. Every single one, you know, cooking Thanksgiving dinner with my son. Yes, yes. My daughter is sitting beside me watching a movie. Oh my word. And, joy makes me cry. Yes. Just walking hand in hand with John like it. Just knowing it's all related. A relationship based. And also you said you were surprised that nobody had said gratitude yet.
00;42;28;01 - 00;42;50;06
What I was going to say. Yeah. In those moments, I am just so grateful for the person, for this sense of closeness and history. And it's like a full flood. It's almost like that life, real movie of what this person means to me, memories and all of that sort of thing. So,
00;42;50;09 - 00;43;11;06
But I also feel that God illuminates all of that for us. Like, he again, I come back to you. It's such a such a gift. This joy thing, because it's it's gratitude and it's the person and it's all of that and the fullness of it, is from God. If you think he cares about your. I think he cares about my daughter, Joy.
00;43;11;06 - 00;43;30;28
It's a gift. It's a gift. It's a gift. And he wants to give us good things. I'm a daughter of the king. I don't just get provided for. I get gifted like we gift to our children. Those of us who have children. Specials. Beautiful. And he wants to share with us is right. Like, I love that scripture that says in his presence is fullness.
00;43;30;28 - 00;44;05;09
Oh yes, exactly. I love that one. And I like when you ask the question in our notes earlier, how does he participate in that joy? I loved that word participate because I said, that's how I see it like that to gathering. And it's wild, wondrous, crazy adventures. Just kind of what my life is like. Someone said earlier about it buckling up, I think you said that in your introduction, which was the word of adventure that God had given was like, okay, buckle up on your security, and we're on a roller coaster.
00;44;05;09 - 00;44;26;24
And so sometimes Joy, and participation of him is like hands in your air screaming at the joy. I love a roller coaster like front car. The roller coaster for me. But also this quiet, curled up kind of corners so that him completing our joy. And I think it's also really helpful, having referenced Sad and dealing with that.
00;44;26;27 - 00;44;44;22
And as a believer in those questions that come up around joy, this hadn't been in my notes, but I it was in the middle of the night that this came up, and I was reminded of a quote I actually have posted in my home as a reminder for me. And it's Charles Spurgeon who we think all these great, you know, men and women of the faith.
00;44;44;22 - 00;45;12;17
But he dealt with a lot of depression in his life and since his early part of his story, just incredible sense of shame and unworthiness at a very young boy. And one of my favorite quotes from him in life is he says the strong are not always vigorous, the wise are not always ready, the brave are not always courageous, and the joyous are not always happy.
00;45;12;17 - 00;45;42;00
Yeah, that helped me so much when I thought the joy doesn't come and go. So I had to work with that joy tank empty, full, because I've anchored into that truth that I can be filled with joy and not be experiencing that it was so, so helpful to have. And that's why I love that you're leading this conversation, because I thought, I get to sit back and learn and define and work with the styles and all of those pieces.
00;45;42;02 - 00;46;14;23
I'm so grateful for one, you sharing that with all of us in the audience, because, you know, we can really over spiritualize joy. Like if you're not full of HIV, you are doing something wrong in your faith. And so an important conversation of like, what is actually like needing attention right now because they all feed each other. So like your cream and those things that you physically do and full spectrum light totally, totally.
00;46;14;26 - 00;46;31;07
Because realizing that there are things that we can do physically that can help us stay grounded in peace and contentment despite maybe not feeling right, etc. it's such a good conversation. Thank you so much.
00;46;31;09 - 00;46;53;29
As I was thinking about Joy, I was really drawn to the that idea that joy is a fruit of the spirit. And I, I've always, like, rattled them off, but I never really thought about that. Okay. And so what makes joy the fruit of the spirit? What makes any of these things love, joy, peace, patience? What makes them fruit of the spirit?
00;46;53;29 - 00;47;23;25
And then I kind of, you know, did a deep dive, as I do into these things. But what I really was opened my eyes to was that joy is a gift of the Holy Spirit, and I think we can ask for more. I think that abiding with Jesus and this might be small joy, but as we.
00;47;23;28 - 00;47;46;16
Small joy, as you put it, yes. And yeah, this joy is like a gift, and it's sort of always there. And it undergirds us like, that's the only word I can use to describe it. Like, it just holds all our organs in. Basically, I think it's the belt of truth, because that's what the belt of truth does is undergirds.
00;47;46;16 - 00;48;15;28
It holds us all, darling. Yeah. And so for me, like, even when you know, you're in a really, really hard time, all of a sudden, like, if you shift, there's this flicker of light somewhere inside you and in it's joy, and you and you and you, you know, like intuitively in your spirit that you're loved.
00;48;16;00 - 00;48;41;08
You know that he saved you and you and you know that he has these amazing promises for you and so hope that hope to ground us. Is that intentional refocus. Yeah. Recognition. It's not absence of bad no no and bad being a very big word struggle difficult struggle challenge all the things that come under that very simple word.
00;48;41;08 - 00;49;08;10
It's often what carries us through. Exactly. It's despite. And I think that's why these fruits of the spirit require that's why he says abide in the vine. Because when you abide you're with him and it shifts you. So it like you could be, you know, in a really hard place and someone says one thing to you and it, and it just shifts your perspective.
00;49;08;10 - 00;49;28;24
And then you all of a sudden even in that hard time, you feel joy. Yes. Right. So, are you actually, I don't think you feel joy. You become in tune with your joy. Yeah. Yes, I agree. And I heard someone say recently too that I don't love this. Joy is the juiciest fruit of the Holy Spirit.
00;49;28;24 - 00;49;52;02
Oh God. Imagine like something go. Yeah. Like I just love that. So when you said about those moments like you're just holding it, you know, just it's always there, but you bite into an inch, you juiciest fruit. I actually wrote down I, or I copied in all of the words of bless the Lord. Oh my soul, that song that talks about whatever may pass and whatever lies before me, let me be singing.
00;49;52;04 - 00;50;17;24
When the new day comes. It's like despite all of it, whatever happens if you return and and choose, it's that choice to will rejoice in the Lord always. Yeah, to rejoice is joy over and over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you have to it. Rejoice is probably in some ways a choice. Yes, rejoice is a choice. And it rhymes.
00;50;17;26 - 00;50;46;28
Well we're going to doctors is again put that on a t shirt. Yeah, yeah that's fine. Yeah. So good. I also love what Tracy in the very beginning she said joy is contagious. And I just love that concept because that's sort of been underlying theme to in all of this, talk about rejuvenation. We really influence one another and, you know, like, I won't see rest the same again.
00;50;47;00 - 00;51;09;25
So it's but our joy is our joy is contagious. Yeah. And it's a juicy fruit. So yeah, I, I want to be near someone who's eating that choice. And Juicy Fruit totals. Great. Well. And is so if we think of that right. It's contagious. If it's that sparkling or I'm, we're with somebody who's like sparkling basically we've lost our sparkle.
00;51;09;25 - 00;51;32;11
We can sometimes get that sparkle back if we think of God as a joyful God. Yeah. Like what we think of him will affect, because that's the sparkle. Do we know that he is looking at us with delight? Right. Despair is actually I have lost my joy and I don't think I can get it back again. And so we need to figure out what is taking that away.
00;51;32;14 - 00;51;58;08
And, and so often God can ground us in like joy is still possible. You can you can still be held by me. I'm still with you. All of those pieces. Right, 245 times in the Bible. Joy or is occurring. Rejoice occurs about 154, with a total of 399 times in the NIV and the New American Standard. It's 211 times of joy, 191 of rejoice, with a total of 402.
00;51;58;10 - 00;52;21;29
So let's say that God is actually really focused on our joy, right? It's a way of worship, of connection. We were made for joy, he said. For the joy set before him, it is actually us completing his joy. He says that yes, complete my joy. Yes, by being like minded. In other words, how you interact is the circle of joy, this unfolding circle of joy.
00;52;21;29 - 00;52;41;09
Go ahead. And it's just so hopeful because that in John Ways is my joy. Yes, I give to you. And I remember sitting with that in dark seasons, like, what's it actually like to have the joy that Jesus had? That's a whole other kind of fuel. Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. So he cares about our joy. He wants to protect our joy and peace.
00;52;41;12 - 00;53;12;17
He wants us to live in the fullness of our joyful identity and purpose. And, so looking at him as a joyful connector translates differently when we look at the joy of the Lord. Is our strength a wonderful way of like, paraphrase phrasing that would be, the joy of the Lord is our strength, the deep, abiding connection of God that he designed us for between him and us and between others will strengthen us, right?
00;53;12;17 - 00;53;37;00
Like it's this complete joy that he has for it's so beautiful. Some people say joy is God's fingerprint in us, in the world, in each other. Is this mutuality of joy and delight? He says he rejoices over us with singing delight in us. And so it's beautiful. Yes. It's about abiding and staying connected and, staying in community.
00;53;37;00 - 00;53;56;23
I just want to close with this little piece. Remember that these loops grow stronger and quicker as we actually bring these things to mind. And that's why way the Bible talks about renewing our mind, right? We actually have joy loops to understand that what God wants this for us. He cares for us. He wants to complete our joy.
00;53;56;23 - 00;54;27;26
He made us for joy, to allow it to soar in our hearts, increase our capacity to return to joy. So really, a happiness habit or a joy habit is a piece of our life. He said. We would rejoice. We're actually supposed to be one of the people who are made of rejoicing, right? So wanting to understand that deeper today, just so beautiful neuroscience proves that our brain is centered for communion with God and connection with other.
00;54;27;28 - 00;54;49;16
They light up both when we are connecting with him and when we're connecting with others. So how beautiful is that, right? We are made for joy. Wow. I don't want to end this wonderful conversation. I feel like I just want to stay in it. It's so beautiful. But we need to wrap up our time. So we're going to give you a challenge.
00;54;49;16 - 00;55;13;21
Audience. What is your joy style? How has God uniquely wired you to lean into joy? The big joy of feeling that purpose alive inside of you and responding to your own wiring. We'll have both Jennifer Dukes Lee material where you can take your happiness. Quiz the happiness there, as well as assure you that you choose devotional styles.
00;55;13;23 - 00;55;37;09
And I just want to end with that thought. Two ladies. Because along with that, we also have a devotional style how we connect best to God. So are you a wonder chaser? You like nature, the beauty of creation, the thrill of seeing God in the present moment. Are you a prayer whisper? Do you love alone time with God and pouring out your heart to him, and see that also in stillness of nature, where you're talking to him about that?
00;55;37;12 - 00;55;58;21
Are you a radiant worshiper? Where adoration, praise and closeness, closeness to God in nature walks? Or in a big church setting where people are praising and worshiping him makes your heart come alive? Are you a heartfelt walker you love to keep in step with the spirit, loving and serving others and seeing what they need? Or are you a word nerd?
00;55;58;24 - 00;56;23;21
Do you love to see God reveal himself through Scripture and your heart soars with new understanding? A lot of times we think that we are one size fits all and we are not. God distinctly made us in a way to connect with each other, connect with the world, and connect with him. So take your joy there, take your joy quiz and lean in the fullness of your joyful identity and let your heart come home.
00;56;23;24 - 00;56;39;28
That is our challenge for you listeners. Can't wait for our next episode. I'm going to pass it to Val because we're on another adventure. Well, thanks for giving it away.
00;56;40;00 - 00;57;06;20
Yeah, our next episode, I'm going to be, leading you all through an interesting conversation and a fun conversation. We're going to be talking about how we can rejuvenate through new adventures. I love it, so I'm very excited to talk about this. I myself have had, recent new adventure which has spurred on this conversation. So join us next week for that.