Holy Living OR Wholly Living

Main Points

1) Intro to our Host: Catherine's Fractured Journey: An interrupted path, a boatload of challenges and questions that led to... breakthrough and hope to equip others (0:00-5:25)

2) Reserves & Reservoirs (5:25-10:00)

3) Perceptions & Expectations (10:00-11:42)

4) Backgrounds, Experiences & Individual Wiring (temperament) (11:42-14:39)

5) Window of tolerance, nervous system and body responses (14:42-15:17)

6) Gifts of limits & Rest as restorative for relational (15:17-18:00)

7) Right now moments & mottos (18:43-22:13)

8) Permissions & Practices for Peace (22:13-24:28)

9) Struggles & New Strategies (24:28-37:38)

10) CLOSING: Our challenge to you & Prayer: Keep asking and seeking (37:38-40:26)

*and a lot more.. lol!! This podcast is really interactive and goes a LOT of exciting directions!)

Link to sources/ resources

1) www.catherinegillard.com

-One on one coaching

-Surviving to Thriving course (closed for spring, application for September)

-Trauma Healing Group Registrations (tickets available for September)

-freebies

2) Henri Noewen's book "The Way of the Heart" referenced by Tracy (16:14)

Audio Transcript

Catherine - 0:00

All right, welcome back. We are so excited to be back together again, what a phenomenal conversation in our last episode on overwhelm with Tracy. So, welcome to the puzzlers! This is Episode Five. And… Hey there, everyone. We are so glad you're here. (Absolutely.) I'm Catherine. I'll be your host today. And here's a little direct insight into my heart. I love chocolate, and laughter and connecting with people and I love Jesus. Oh, and as the puz-zlers know: I like to ask a lot of questions. My dad used to say “No more questions, Cathe-rine!!” Indeed, all the puzzlers know I have had a hard time limiting my questions. Through my own and through other’s struggles in this messy, broken world, I've become really pas-sionate about asking and finding answers about: how we can reclaim peace, or wholeness as our inheritance as a child of God; how to hold on to it, how to guard it, how to relocate it, (and) how to understand why we lost it in a circumstance or relationship, a situation. I love to puzzle about the interplay between our body, brain and beliefs. I love neuroscience and brain science AND the Bible, and learning how both apply to processing pain so it loses power… to heal and rebuild our lives, our hearts and our minds. I have been on a wild adven-ture. I thought I would do one thing with my life and I ended up on multiple journeys. I thought I would be a forever public school teacher and pastor's wife, and then became an abandoned and divorced and alone person— alone for five years— to remarried, and re-building and blending a family of boys. (I went) From being a passionate literacy teacher for over a decade to resigning my teaching position and stepping into full time ministry as a kids pastor. (I went) From seeing huge impacts on the next generation for the next decade, to faith water walking out and into a new season of life looking for answers to big questions about generational dysfunction, hurting, hope and healing. And that leads me to where I am now. I'm a trauma informed ICF certified life coach with multiple coaching certifications from a variety of institutions across Canada and US —-because I always love to learn!! I love to ask questions, right? And so right now I'm currently studying and completing another certification as a mental health coach. My training and background is an inner healing, trauma healing, sozo, Rafa, formational prayer, and I'm on the board of an incredible organi-zation called Agora Network Ministries as their trauma healing lead and a master facilitator with the Trauma Healing Institute. And I am thrilled because I'm on a path I didn't see com-ing. God was leading me to touch lives for his glory. And I love where I am right now, being able to puzzle with you, and be a life coach in supportive ministry roles to help people part-ner in healing body, mind and spirit. So that's our conversation today!

Sue - 3:00

How fortunate are we to get to sit with you? LAUGHTER.

Catherine - 3:04

No, no, I don't mean that. I mean.… my journey has been wild, right? Like, I was a lifer. I'm like, I'm going to be a teacher for the rest of my life. Pastor with my husband for the rest of my life. And God's like, No… I have another path for you. And he launched me into some-thing that was unfamiliar. And to be honest, broke off some of my fear and other stuff, which is what we're going to talk about.

All right, so this episode today is called holy living or wholly living. I loved God with my whole heart. I wanted to live a holy life. And I kept finding (that) I came to different places, and even patterns where I felt shattered. And you use that word that you used in the other episode to Tracy, (shattered) I did not feel whole. Are these two things opposite? Being ho-ly? And being whole? Is a life as a Christian just supposed to be brokenness and fracturing and walking wounded? Is that the cost? Are we supposed to count the cost and the cost is being close to God at the expense of feeling whole? After all, God said, In this world, you will have trouble. Is there anything we can do to increase our capacity to handle challenges? In this episode, we are together going to puzzle about some of these things. And I'm looking at you puzzlers because I will limit my questions now. I know that was a lot. I had to get it out of my system.

SUE - 4:23

I love your questions.

Val - 4:24

Your dad knew this podcast was coming. LAUGHTER

Catherine - 4:29

The word capacity is so meaningful to me. I felt like I was beyond my capacity more than a handful of times. Challenges in growing up, a loss of a spouse, shattered by divorce, huge job shifts and changes, releasing my identity, even my reputation, remarriage, messy health challenges, navigating family…. times I felt like I was crawling. Yeah. NOT RUNNING the race. AND the word capacity so intertwines with our last episode on overwhelm. And so I just really encourage you listeners to tune back to Episode Four because the concepts about feeling like we are beyond ourselves and want to quit is so pertinent to today's con-versation. So I'm gonna turn it to you puzzlers, what does the word capacity mean to you? What experiences have you had where you felt like you were beyond your capacity?

Val - 5:25

When I think of capacity when I've been thinking about it, actually, I've been thinking a lot about capacity this week. I, I picture, a measuring apparatus, but it has like water in it, just sort of adding water, taking away water and trying to keep that perfect balance. And then I also think about the water park, you know, when there's that big bucket and literally dropped off, drop until it splashes all over you. And I also think about reserves.

Sue - 5:54

Yes. That’s what word I use. Yeah, yeah.

Val - 5:57

Yeah. So those are the thoughts that came to mind this week, as I was considering capacity in my own capacity. It's a really, really compelling idea, right?

Sue - 6:04

Yeah. I love that it pertains to all of the topics we've talked about, whether you're dealing with wor-ry, and anxiety, or grief, or overwhelm, or any of life's issues, really, it's our capacity to deal with them— I love that we're talking about this, it just relates to everything. And for me, like, I'll go back to what Val did. I love the word reserve, because for me my capacity to cope with any of the things we've talked about -or any of the other challenges that come our way—my capacity to cope comes from that deep reserve of faith and trust in God. And I'll go back to you know, I mentioned in our last episode, the idea of “examine”, (of) reflecting back on where God has been good in the past. That that fills my reserve. You know, that's where I get my, my trust, that's where it comes from. I have no reason to not trust, even if the now is overwhelming, or difficult. I know I've gone through it before, come through it before and will again, so capacities that deep reserve that deep knowing and trust and faith for me.

Tracy - 7:21

And I always love how they weave together because my word was reservoir. And that for me, though, when I sit with it, like on a practical level, like capacities about your ability to do or, you know, like the capacity of a production assembly line, like what are they going to put out, but I thought I wrestled with this because capacity for me has a lot more to do with what is in me. And I remember from like, summer camps years ago, there was a song that I loved and I don't know if our listeners will know what but it was, oh, Fill my cup and let it overflow, let it overflow with love. And I thought …I think that for me that what is in my reser-voir kind of like Sue was saying is I want to live an overflowing life. And sometimes the stuff in our cup if our cup gets knocked it tells you what’s in your cup and its not so pretty. So I've lived with this Lord well, well up, there's that word well again, for me well up within me, overflow. So for capacity, like reaching my capacity, visually because I'm a very visual thinker and receiver is less about reaching my capacity as it is about there's holes in my bucket. And it's draining out. And so those things that we'll probably talk about those are like those holes being complete .. I think it becomes complete …not just plugged but those things. It's so for me reaching my capacity, I have to stop and go either what am I full of? Or what am I allowed to drain out? Right?

Catherine - 8:50

So good. Really talking about repairs even to your bucket? Right?

Tracy - 8:55

Yeah, so absolutely.

Sue - 8:56

Yeah. And it's interesting because capacity comes into play. Whether they are.. I mean, I mentioned before the kind of the negative stresses if you will, the difficult challenges, but I mean, I'm gonna raise my hand here and just say this past week okay, we can't go through this podcast without me saying that I'm newly engaged (WOOHOO CHEERS) and so but but what happens then is my life right now is very full of fun and excitement and anticipa-tion and beauty and love and like wonderful things. And a lot is a lot. ( Yes) you know, it's it's really all good but it's just a lot so volume yes can just drain right. And so sometimes it's even just our capacity to deal with a lot and I still need to you know, take a step back and reach into God and say, Okay, God, like, calm me now, like still me and remind me that I still need to move through this You know, it's,

Val - 10:00

and sometimes it's not even the actual it's the perception. So we have enough likely capaci-ty to do what is before us. But if we think we may not have enough capacity, that in itself re-duces our capacity. Just a thought, yeah.

Tracy - 10:19

Well, a good thought, can I jump from there? Because like that expectation, yes, part of your question was like, when do you feel like you've reached your capacity. And I do have a really specific time because expectation is a big— my own self expectations, even beyond other people's and Gods —are what can lead to my overwhelm, which can take me to my capacity. And I had a really specific time, a number of years ago, where I was just doing the things. And I remember being in my upstairs hall, leaning my head against the wall. And just like claiming the truth, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. And I heard the whisper of a voice I know, and he just said, but did I ask you to do those things? ( All things? )Yes. Did I ask you to do those things? I only promise my strength for what I have given you to do. And I had to just stop be-cause those of us stop in the track to buy for moments that he offers. I think it's a two by four patent with a lot of grace and love. But he stops us in our tracks. And I had to stop and go, no, no, what are my expectations like Val said versus what is really required. So for me, that is a capacity piece, I reached my capacity when I have tried to take on more than his mind to carry.

Catherine - 11:42

So good. It’s making me think right now about like how pertinent our beliefs are. Right? So for example, we often feel like God's calling us to do the hard thing or right like and when he said to me along the same lines, obedience is better than sacrifice, I always thought was the sacrificial thing, right? Do more, do more, give more, give more? And Gods like? No. (CHILL. CHILL) Did I actually call you to that? Right? Wow, that's so good. Any other thoughts about capacity? What a great conversation it is.

So I'm hearing from you different things like capacity can be measured in terms of how much time we have, right? So once we do the essentials, which we sometimes don't actual-ly do a good job of saying that's essential, right, eating, sleeping, and those things, but they also have to do with our ability to flex right? The stuff that's with our wiring, how we deal with stressors, right? And they are affected by what we've gone through in life, and what we've been taught about life. Those are huge pieces, right? I know, Val, you talked about your family of upbringing, and how we deal with stress, right? And it was like—it was pat-tern kind of thing. And I know, even the stockpiling of things we talked about and over-whelmed like thing after thing, or trigger things, all of these things.

Val - 13:00

I love how you say wiring, that's huge, because we're all wired differently. I think of— I al-ways think of this— one of my patients was dealing with horses on a regular basis. And they told me the story. And it stayed with me forever. They talk about the racehorse and they talk about the workhorse. And the race horse is like fast and slick and beautiful, but gets so many infections and like their hooves, and you have to treat them so carefully. And then the workhorse goes at it, you know, just grinds it out. And they're maybe a stronger body and they don't need as much care that way. And these horses are created by God differently. And there's beauty in both. But it's a acknowledgement that they are different. Different purpose and different capacity. Yes. Right.

Catherine - 13:53

So individual because we don't do that we put I should be able to do this because you know if I just did this, because that person is doing it or whatever. But it's like if we actually can recognize that we have God given wiring. Yes. And also that it's been affected by the things that we've gone through in life. I love your your picture of like that container, because one of the best examples I've ever heard is it is like a container. But the shape of our containers re-ally been affected by what we've gone through life. Yes. And it can be stretched actually, it can be grown. Yeah. But there's this like gap on the top where maybe there's rocks, there's stuff that's come in our container because of all the challenges. So is there like room at the top for flow? And that's what you're saying? Right? It can be a good things, but is there room at the top? And so...

Sue - 14:39

... one thing pushes you over the edge?

Catherine - 14:42

Exactly right. I mean, that's it when we are beyond basically our window of tolerance. I can't cope anymore. Right. And that can be because it relates to a trigger. So it's like slams closed, like just feels like that circumstance or because there's this pile up. It's really important for us to actually think these questions through, like, what hits me to overwhelm?

Val - 15:04

And we're fluid people. We're not the same every day. Yes. I know a lot of people that can eat a lot more junk food when they're on vacation because their nervous system is calm. Right? We're not the same every day.

Catherine - 15:17

Yeah. And I love the way that you're connecting to, like, our body affects us too, because we think of overwhelm as emotional or mental. But it's like what's going on in my body too, right? So often the key to healing is finding out how we stop the cycles of going beyond our capacity. Yeah. And getting short circuited. So often, we live in overwhelm, crash, over-whelm, crash, and that is actually because we don't understand our capacity. So let's pon-der the factors that actually affect each of our capacity. We talked about that a little bit in our last episode, where we started naming the things. So let's just do some naming and let our listeners connect and go, Yeah, that's me or no, that's not me. Because it is individual. What have you personally found decreases your capacity to handle life's challenge? We've named a few.

Sue = 16:10

Fatigue for me being tired, just Yeah, yeah.

Tracy - 16:14

Not creating space and time like really alone, because I'm actually high sensory. And so just recognizing and honoring, which is also a limits boundary kind of thing that I need. dark, quiet, still. And tied to that that's actually more my primary piece because I said, I'm a high level introvert who loves people, but that high sensory is actually more of the factor. But even recognizing my introversion, the gift that that is within it, and honoring those limits, like one of my favorite thoughts. I love books. So it's Henry Noewen in a book, “The Way of the Heart”, but he says, very paraphrase, the purpose of solitude is community. And when I laid hold of that truth, my heart is for people, but to care whether it's my family, whether it's community, whatever that is, for me to care for community, I need to make sure that I honor solitude. And so then those practices that are both my really early morning because I have a very full house, but that gives me quiet and dark, whether that is giving myself permission, I know I'm jumping off of what drains but, but giving myself permission to like book and Airbnb at the end of the year and process my brain in solitude, or retreat those kinds of places. So not creating space and honoring who I am. And learning to honor who I am has been really key in capacity for me.

Catherine - 17:40

That's awesome, because rest is actually relational. So when we're in overwhelm, I think you're kind of talking to the fact that you're not connected to yourself, right? And when you go into that space, you're reconnecting to your needs and right, like, that's huge. So we're kind of going both, and we can do that, like, what decreases what increases… Any other thoughts?

Val - 18:00

I guess for me decreasing is just too many things on my plate that I have to think about, like planning items, and then add to it screen, like screen decreases my capacity. If I go on it too much. I would say my thoughts— worry decreases my capacity or like useless, like, you know, perpetual, you know, thinking? Yeah, that definitely that I think more than anything decreases my capacity. And from a body standpoint, I mean, if I don't get enough protein, I feel drained. Right. So that decreases my capacity. Yeah.

Catherine - 18:43

I love when you talk —- you're you're using your hands and— she was doing like a like a cy-cle, but like go cyclical thoughts, right? It's called maladaptive rumination. I love to use that because I would be there, right? We're, we're wired to try to figure things out. But we can be in these loops of trying to figure out things that we actually can't figure out —-so how do I stop that cycle? Right?

Tracy - 19:04

And I can't because that's one of the pieces that is increasing our capacity when we try to figure things out. I've said one of those key things is just learning to live life in the present tense, like live here and now and sometimes just anchoring in the moment. And that's that one step, one step of journey. Where am I right now? Because it's really I'm not a really a re-grets of the past person. And that can be a big thing for a lot of people. So I honor and rec-ognize that, but I can be okay, so what do I need to figure out? What do I need to do and that's finding the balance between the God given skills that are that and that and that hi-jacking and taking over. So what right now right here, what is the thing right here right now? That takes me one step forward and one step forward in love.

Catherine - 19:52

Right. So good.

Sue - 19:53

When I was 15 God gave me a life motto, if you will. I was working in a tourism place. I was all by myself. My little ice cream booth.

Val - 20:01

That's a young.

Sue - 20:02

And I was a brand new believer. I just really come into relationship and yeah, life motto here it is you ready for this?

Tracy - 20:09

Eat ice cream…. LAUGHTER??? Make it chocolate? LAUGHTER.

Sue - 20:13

I wish it was that simple. No, no, here it is. Make the most of today and you won't regret yes-terday, tomorrow. Yes. That is a SUE- ism. That is my life motto. It's and it's, and it's and again, say one more time make the most of today. And you won't regret yesterday, tomor-row. So and it really is about living in the present. And making the most of today isn't a list of to dos. It's what does today call for, you know what, what it is today call for? What's the best thing you can do with it? And, you know, it's interesting, because for me that can be that it's often people related. But people can be my increase and my decrease Yes, right. I like that that has become very true for me. And it's again, finding that balance between that that deep alone time that charges me, or that wonderful time where you can bounce off your ideas and you can feed on somebody else's energy and ideas or, or just get input and calm and you know, because we can spin and for me sometimes processing out processing something out loud is what really helps me. so One of my favorite sayings is sorrow shared is halved, joy shared is doubled. And so for me that sharing with people has become really key in capacity for me, it decreases the the pain and increases the delight for me if you will.

Tracy - 21:46

And the present tense. That's we are creatures of time. The present tense is the one place where time and eternity touch. God meets us if God is was, is and yet to be. He exists out-side of our time and space. But we don't exist in the past. Except in memory, all those pieces we don't exist in the future, per se we live right here. And that's where time and eternity touch.

Catherine - 22:13

What a great conversation. And so many pieces right now, like in the conversation about being present. So many of us are like trying to solve the problems right now, with going into the past or going into the future. Right? And Sue you're talking about felt like how do I be present right now? How do I get myself to this moment? What a pertinent conversation. And I even feel like you're both talking about your different needs and capacity. Some simi-lar because I feel like sue you might be like an introverted extrovert and that's because you're saying Tracy, I'm an introvert.

Tracy - 22:51

I mean…I’m an extroverted introvert.

Catherine - 22:53

Right?

Tracy - 22:55

Yes. We recharge alone. And for introverts out there. Please recognize that introvert isn't de-fined by shame. No, it's defined by where we receive our energies. And so when I have that, people will say, I don't believe you're an introvert. Well, sorry, you believe what you want, right? But this is who I am. But when I honor that, right, then the outcome,

Catherine - 23:17

Because what you're saying is, is really important awareness of who I am and then actually validating my needs. Right? This is what I need, not what you need, not what you need, not what you think I need but what I really need. So it's huge in regards to capacity. Anybody with anything to add? What increases, what decreases? (capacity)

Val - 23:38

I think just you just need to know what does fill your cup basically, right? It's and make sure you prioritize those things and stop to do them and give yourself permission. Because per-mission… right? Permission, ladies, right? But just you know, it's okay for me to go out on my back porch and watch my bunnies hop around. Yeah, fills my cup. They're they're so cute. And it just makes me happy to see them so free and eating the grass, you know, the whole thing. But, you know, just stretching and breathing and being outside. Like, you know, what makes you happy, brings you joy, what fills your cup? But yes I think we know it. But yes, we need to make sure we prioritize on and give ourselves permission.

Catherine - 24:28

When we are living like beyond capacity. We're actually on fight and flight. Yeah, it's crazy. What's going on our brain, right? We are off relating to God, others, self and can’t solve problems. Right? We can't think clearly. Right? And we need to find the things that actually flip us back on present relating to ourselves, the world God. And so it's so important that we know those tools like how do I get back? A lot of us live at like 130% capacity. But did you know we're actually supposed to live at 70 percent… we're supposed to have that margin. So how do we create that margin? Because if we actually cut back on things might need to examine why we do so much. And I know we talked about that last time too, right? Like, are there lies I'm believing about keeping people happy, getting my worth from this. And so real-ly, the overwhelm was an indicator, something's going on inside of us.

So the last thing I want to kind of mull over is like, based on our experiences, right? Disaster in communities, they respond, they go, look, here's an action plan, let's decrease vulnera-bility. Let's increase the capacity of these people. Let's build resilience. But do we do that personally, right, like, do we? Or do we say, oh, life's supposed to be hard? Because we're a Christian, there's trouble? Or like, are there skills and tools? Yes, what's happening for you? like What skills and tools have come out and built you in understanding? (building your capacity and residence)

Tracy - 25:56

I'd like to come up when that Val just had touched on that whole thing of what makes you feel happy, what that permission what feels, I heard a really useful thought that I've applied within and this woman said, do something every morning that reminds you have who you are. And that can be all kinds of different things that can be going to the gym, that can be, you know, meditation and prayer, it can be any kind of thing. One of the things for me, be-cause my life season that I'm in is very busy, and I'm gone and on the go for a lot of hours in my day— I'm a writer, that's part of who I am. And too easily that would just get pushed to the end. One of the writing coaches that I really respect and have received from she talks when she is working with her students about writing their morning writings, their morning pages, 40 pages, every morning, just set the time, just go. And I thought there is no way in my world right now that I can write maybe not 40 pages, but for 40 minutes, like I don't have that. But I could do it for 10. Right? And I created this practice, that was just remembering who I was, I would sit in the quiet with coffee, like someone said once is it is as simple as coffee and time with Jesus. So I would just sit with my coffee. And then so often there would be like one sentence one thought that would come from that. And then literally at the beginning, I had a timer. And I would just pick up my pen and keep it moving. Like because that even taps in neurologically, right, like just keep going, whatever comes then the flow of that begins to come. So that's one of them, I have other ones, but that first thing in the morning, not just remembering who you are, but putting the priority of who you are de-signed to be first thing in the day. And that has made a world of difference in my world.

Val - 27:46

I agree with that. Like I, I resisted sort of doing, like spending time with God in the mornings, because it's so busy. And I thought you know what, I It's fine if I do this at night, which it is fine. But what I realized is if I do spend time with God in the morning, he gives me like a new perspective. (Yeah. Yeah.) And what that does is it quiets my thoughts, and it brings me peace. And so then throughout the day, my thoughts are more peaceful, which quiets my nervous system, which increases my capacity, yes, ( and fills your reservoir ) and fills my res-ervoir. So I love I'm coming back to like something Sue said at the very beginning of this podcast, but like how you go in with God. And I just feel like, how cool is it that God and his vision and his ways if we embody those, that peace increases our capacity?

Catherine - 28:49

So how do we get back to peace? Yeah, that's, that's really what we're talking about. So what are the tools?

Sue - 28:56

Well, there are little things I'll do in my house, I love to light a candle. And years ago, I was go-ing through a serious illness and you know, your mind spins, you're worried. There you go, Val, right, you can relate. You're worried about what the future is going to hold? Am I going to get better? What's this treatment going to be like, blah, blah, blah. And I started lighting what I called a peace candle. And it was just sort of in the middle of my house so that as I went through my day, when I caught sight of the flame. I would just whisper a small prayer. It was just a reminder. It was just a little little clue to just take me back to God just stop for a minute. Breathe for just a minute and sometimes that's all it takes just I love one deep breath. You know I do the 333 in for three hold for three out for three, it can be a breath prayer, I love deep breathing. And those put those little visual cues to just remind me to go back. So lighting a candle was huge for me and the other thing I started doing was dancing. (Good on you) Alone in my living room. Thank Thank you very much I love today. And that was something that came back to me during COVID. (I said the C word) But during COVID You know, I live alone on I would put music on and just go crazy in my living room. Because you that movement piece that you talk about Val sometimes it's slow stretching, deep breathing, and other times you just can't really move and release and have some fun and joy, you know, make it happen. Fake laughter can turn to real love. Yes. Yeah.

Catherine - 30:30

YES. I love that.

Val - 30:32

Well, that visualizations really, I think a big part like the stopping and the being present kind of thing. Yeah, like I even I drink chlorophyll, it's it's dark green, you know, the energy that comes from the plants. This is the chlorophyll. And I take the dropper, and I have, you know, a mason jar, it's clear. And I put the droppers in there, and it like fills the water, just almost like a paint swish, you know. And then… I just feel like that dark green color, I can't believe it comes from the plant. And then I drink that, and I feel the vitality come into my body. And I'm just present in my body. And I feel connected to creation. And I feel connected to the Crea-tor. And it's just so simple. It's so small, but I just feel like it also gives me a boost. You know? Yeah, yeah.

Catherine - 31:23

CREATION. It’s so sensory. Did you want to add to that, Tracy?

Tracy - 31:26

Just the creation piece and in the movement place, because one of the phrases that came from me is to take my brain for a walk. So I love, love, love, love to walk for all kinds of rea-sons. But somehow, because my world has a lot of mental activity. And that idea of I can just take my brain for a walk. This is not maybe exercise or whatever. But I can take my brain for a walk and that self care.

Val - 31:52

What does it look like to take your brain for a walk?

Catherine - 31:54

Yeah!

Tracy - 31:54

Just I think just going for a walk. It's again, it's giving the permission like actually leaving my desk because like, I want to get enough done. So I can take a break. And just going no, no, I need to take my brain for a walk. Like I will prioritize—because that's another conversation but recognizing the brain trauma I deal with seeing where some of the cue ECG stuff— and I had a season where my I said the only way I could describe it, it maybe melodramatic, but it felt physiological. Like I said, the substructure of my brain was shattering in an overwhelm-ing season. And I just said I can't after my brain mapping, I can't, I can't do that this brain physiologically, like it's kind of important moving forward in life. So how do I again continue to really care for my brain and there's a lot of practical tools there are neurological wellness tool that has made a real difference. But then that taking your brain for a walk really. And there's other supplemental type of things that come into that physical place of our brain. But yeah, just this is why why that's probably the taking the brain for walk, not just walking, but taking your brain.

Catherine - 33:02

Wow. Beautifull. Well, that's huge, right and actually allowing yourself to be present. and in creation.

Tracy - 33:07

That's outside. It's a creation piece, the chlorophyll the creation.

Catherine - 33:14

I'm seeing, I'm smelling, I'm touching and tasting. I'm actually here again, I'm not in the past. I'm not in my mind, I'm not looped out. That was me, right. Like I didn't know how to quiet. And so I would really struggle with Bible verses that you know, said be still so like I'm trying really hard Jesus, and like my body would take over my body. My biggest realization was I can't calm my brain with my brain. Yes. My brain with my body, your body. Yeah. So by actu-ally start to see and feel and hear and touch and taste. And that's gratitude. Right? Like, yeah, look at that, Jesus, look at this. Oh, and even for me, it's temperature. Like I if I am spi-ralling out with the trigger, which is relationship conflict for me, if I'm spiraling out, I cannot get myself calm. I can quote lots of Bible verses, but.. if I can go have a bath. Then in that temperature shift, and I feel like I'm in encased by this warm, right. Like, like, there's certain things that we know we need this so we can actually embrace those needs and compas-sionately resource ourselves versus something's wrong with me. Why am I??? ?… right, this is so beautiful ...

Sue - 34:25

You know, I am such a list person. And oftentimes, I think when we are when we most need these tools, we forget what it is that we need, we can't even name it. It's so good to have a list on your phone. Like, it's like, I don't even know what to do for myself or somebody says, What do you need right now? And I don't know if you've ever been in that place where it's like, I don't even know I don't know what I need. Right? So great to, you know, have a list on your phone. Yeah, I need a bath. I need a walk ...

Val - 34:55

Or schedule things in advance like my clients schedule six months in advance. And they know they're coming once a month? Yes. Well, you may not know you're going to be over capacity. But it's there in case you are. Yeah. Or signing up for a specific exercise class once a week. Yes. And you know, in that space, you're going to stretch and breathe, and you're going to decompress, right? Like, I think scheduling things in ...

Sue - 35:19

Yes

Val - 35:19

... is important.

Catherine - 35:22

Well, I think that goes back to overwhelm, really, because we are so used to living at like this pack, pack, pack pack (into schedule) And do we actually schedule the things that are equally important for us to be in a place of peace? As to do right, so you talked in the other episode about like doing? Right...

Val - 35:39

Just like Tracy said, with her writing, you just put it to the side. And you'll I'll get to, to some take some day. Some day never happens.

Tracy - 35:46

With same day thinking—— this is the day we're given. This is the day.

Catherine - 35:52

Wow, so, so good. So much going on inside of our brains and back to like that circuitry, be-cause I'm so passionate about it. But even even in the fear response, we cannot think or learn if we are actually in fear and that has spiritual implications, right? If we are off that rela-tional circuit, we're not relating to ourselves, or God or other people. And we are on a fear based loop. We're not present. So how do we those are the things that we really have to go like, what do I need to be calm? What do I need to be present? Right. And I think, at least for me, a lot of those tools came from my struggle.

Sue - 36:28

That's where we learn the most, I'm grateful. I'm so grateful for the stuff I've been through. didn't love it at the time. I'm not going to you know, put a finger in my temple and Pollyanna this for you. It wasn't fun. But that is where God grew me the most.

Catherine - 36:43

So healing is about recognizing when we need pauses, we talk a lot about pauses. And when we need methods to bring us back to the ability to cope, to release our pain, or stress the demands that we have. Our capacity is actually limited. There are limitations. God's only unlimited. But the truth is that it grows. Yes, it shifts and changes. And that's amazing. Be-cause the truth is, we want to leave the listeners with what we've gained. And that is hope. Repairs are essential. Tools for processing, thinking calming, relating. But resilience is pos-sible. And that's becoming stronger and more resource and actually less vulnerable. And that is God's restorative redemptive plan. He actually wants to bring help to us.

Val - 37:31

And that comes back to even the first episode on worry that I hosted, asking God, you know, how do I increase my capacity?

Catherine - 37:38

Right, show me, right. And he (speaks in!! Yeah yeah!!, totally. So we've come to the end of our mini podcast series.. unfortunately. I feel like we could just keep going today. And at this point, we're uncertain if we'll continue. It's a bit of a puzzle. But we want to leave you our listeners and our puzzlers ourselves here, with one more ques-tion. What are we puzzled about in dealing with life's challenges? Are there things in our journey, that we want to start asking questions from God to lead us in finding answers, to be curious about what we truly need to ask? The Bible says, Seek Me and you'll find me when you seek me with all your heart. It says ask for wisdom. God is not hiding and he wants to help us gain his power, direction, answers to navigate life, and He uses the Bible and people. He wants to give us wisdom, knowledge and understanding. I can honestly say that puzzling about my circumstances led me to “help me see help me understand, help me find help me to know, God, is there not just somebody who can teach me right?” So all of these questions led me and launched me on a journey of pouring into the Bible or the re-sources, finding healing. I think that's all of us as puzzlers, puzzling and seeking and knock-ing and asking God to help us and give us resources to grow our capacity to handle grief, stress, overwhelm, all the really hard, puzzling parts of life. So we've put a few resources in the show notes that might help you, our listeners get started as well. But we wanted to close by praying for you.

“God, you know, each of our listeners by name, you know the challenges they face. You know the answers that they seek, and God we know you want to bring into their life tools, resources, people, methods to help them connect with hope. Would you breathe life into their hearts and minds and direct them and at one step forward. Help them to connect with one tool, one person, one truth, one idea, or one thought. You are indeed a God who turns a valley of trouble into a door of hope. You did it for us. Break off any stigma for those who feel like they need to hide or there's something wrong with them. Help us all to actually un-derstand how we can unhook from thoughts, emotions, and find help and safe places to puzzle, be real and heal. Amen.

Sue - 40:16

Amen.

Tracy - 40:17

Amen.

Nicole - 40:19

Thanks so much for listening and puzzling with us. Goodbye for now from

Val - 40:23 Val

Sue - 40:24

Sue

Tracy - 40:25

Tracy

Catherine - 40:26

and Catherine