Permission to Rest

Show Notes

Book link to Rhythms of Renewal: Trading Stress and Anxiety for a Life of Peace and Purpose

Transcript

Val

Hello, all. Welcome to episode number three. I'm Val and I will be your host for this episode, in which we will be puzzling over the question, why is it so hard to rest? Hello, my fellow puzzlers. Good morning to Tracy, Sue and Catherine. Yeah, I've realized through immersing myself, in the topic of rest, that I am not naturally very good at resting. That's probably why I chose this topic, because I knew that I wanted to be a pupil of this subject, and I wanted to learn more about resting. I admit I'm a busy body. I'm always doing something. And more than that, my brain is always doing something. I feel guilty if I'm not working at something. My husband works from home since Covid and I see him hard at work.

So I feel like I need to be working as well. And of course that stretches right into the evening. I feel like I run the house and things might fall apart without me. Talk about pressure. So my brain is always actively planning groceries, meals, kids activities, social life, car sharing, appointments, and the mental list goes on and on, you guys know. Plus, add to that all of the psychological subconscious reasons that I keep myself busy and the extra energy I expend through being worried or anxious or thinking about things that suck my energy. Yeah, I believe this is a good topic for us to know about. Yeah. Most of us are tired and a lot of us are running ourselves at maximum capacity.

And then we've been busy for so long that we psychologically begin to rewire our brains to be busy. And then even when we try to slow down, we find it really difficult. And then we look around and we see that everyone else is in the same boat as we are. So we assume that this is normal and okay. But is it? It seems as though this is something we should be contemplating, especially in this day and age when we're busier than ever before. So I'm going to put this out as a starting question to you guys. Do you find it hard to rest. And if so, why or why not.

Sue

Well this is a great topic for first thing Saturday morning. Yeah. Yeah, sure. And I'm feeling rested this morning because I had a really great sleep. But, I mean, there have absolutely been periods where I haven't slept as well. I usually have no problem falling asleep. But if there's a lot going on in my world and we all have a busy world, I'm one of those people who will wake at 3 a.m. and stay awake because my brain gets going.

And you know how night brain spirals. I love that word. Spiral goes nowhere except in the same circle over and over and over again. So my night brain will spiral where my brain will actually find some direction. And that's exhausting. Like that's a different kind of exhaustion. So that's when I find it hard to rest in the middle of the night.How's that for irony. That's my moment. There you go.

Tracy

Well I think it can be hard to rest. You said something there because we live with our foot on the gas pedal all the time. I don't find it as hard to rest as I used to because I recognize the need and the choice for it. But even when you choose to put your foot on the brake, your foot is kind of on both at the same time. And so there's like screeching brakes, dust flying, when you transition from being really on the go to, to resting. But I think learning to rest for me has had a lot to do with honoring who I am.

And then that's not selfish within that. And one of my favorite thinkers is Henry Nouwen. And and he has a little book called The Way of the heart. And part of honoring that for me was recognizing he has loosely paraphrased, but he says the purpose of solitude is community. So when I say I'm a high level introvert who loves people, I've come to recognize that if I don't honor the solitude, then I'm not equipped for the community which is equally in my heart. And then things like Susan Cain, who wrote the book Quiet and just really honoring our inner place. And like Val was saying, like, it's the mental rest. That's the place that is the challenge because it can just spin and spin. And I think just jumping ahead, perhaps with just a different pace. One of the slowing things that's really in connection for that for me, because my brain's always asking questions.

So giving it a question that is helpful. So one of the questions that I am spinning is just, “am I being led by love or driven by fear?” Like what is going on here?. And then as just even a rest practice just in my quiet I ask, “Holy Spirit, what is the simplifying thought?”. “Give me your simplifying thought.” Often it's a single word or phrase which is the simplifying thought. So yeah. Honoring who we are, knowing it's not selfish and recognizing that we can't. You know, that's saying, you know, you can't feed the world off an empty plate. You know, and honoring that is a part of rest.

Catherine

So good, I connect with everything everyone's saying because I wore the busy badge too. I used to find it incredibly hard to rest. In fact, in retrospect, I've learned that restlessness was a bit of my fight and flight learned response and how my brain had stored information about how to best function in life and get needs met. So for me, doing was really connected to being accepted and the place I thought it was safe to find my worth and value.

And it's funny because living out of that stress response, restlessness, it actually became a coping mechanism or a tool that I didn't realize was actually my way to cope with my anxiety. So it's just like, you know, my norm. So I just keep going to achieve, to try to get rid of the churning that I felt in my mind and in my belly to be prepared enough, good enough. And so this really it's a maladaptive response, right? We think it's going to get us what we need, but it also doesn't. I didn't have any clue how to stop. And so I would just keep going and going and going and going and rest for me was just whatever's left rest, whatever left, which was very little.

You know, you could be even, you know, playing with the kids and making supper or building snowmen. And the ledger was going through my head. What's next? What do I have to do next, what's done? What's not done? And I thought that was normal. And I think we're all saying that was our normal. I can relate to that. Right. So it wasn't until I learned to get off those loops to actually prioritize rest and value. Stopping was important and to prioritize my peace. And so yeah, we can talk about that when we loop back because I know you want to talk. Yeah I'm super excited to hear how you realized that.

Val

But then how did you, you know, implement strategies or what did you do to sort of turn that around. So we'll get to that. Okay. Are there any other barriers that you see for resting.

Catherine

Totally. That was my thought, that I was going to continue was actually like where I loop back. So I loop back when there's a barrier, right? Like, mostly in terms of not listening to my capacity. And honestly that's like my fun response. Right. You got the fight flight and freeze and fun is like oh yeah whatever. Whatever other people want. How do I make them happy? Right. So that would be my response. Like I would push past my needs to keep people happy and keep the peace.

Right. Instead of self advocating, I would self abandon. Right? So in that stress response actually kind of funny I get into like over preparing. So all you Puzzlers know, not you listening, but you here in the room. Well remember I had like 20 sheets of paper. Like I had a million sheets of paper because I didn't want to fail you. I didn't want to fail the people listening. And I had too much going on in my life. And so it was just, you know, the lie that I was going to be better and good for God and good for the listeners. Instead of, you know, still staying in that value of peace. And I have what I need and less is more and some of those concepts.

Right. And it can be used like the expectations of others, but also the expectation in myself. Right. So for me part of it was recognizing like I hold hoops for myself to jump through. God doesn't hold those hoops. So I can hold it up or hold this self expectation that isn't even external. But it's like just slow down.

Sue

It's okay. He's got a pace of grace that he invites us just to walk in and live in. Totally. Yeah. For me, I think the biggest barrier, at least in my more so in my past, I'm not going to say I'm completely over it, but perfectionism, just high standards for how things look, how things operate. Catherine, you know who's who's happy. Is everybody happy? Somebody has what they need. Is so-and-so talking to so-and-so? Do I need to have lunch with both of them and make sure everything's okay? You know, whatever. And, I mean, I have come a long way in that because I think the older you get and my birthday's right around the corner. So we're all getting older, but the older you get, the more I think you can sort of see things clearly.

I've been able to schedule my rest because I still recognize what it means and, and how much it helps me. And Sabbath, like true Sabbath, has taken on new meaning for me. Especially with a large family again. And different things to do and new responsibilities and new joys to look after. Catherine

It's just a bigger life. So if I don't schedule myself in, I disappear. So, yeah, I totally connect with that because it was like I actually wrote a blog post about, like, the important to do list and realizing that that's equally as important to live out of the balance. And so to actually put them in, like make a snowman, make a snow angel, like, you know, like actually like laugh like the things that are rejuvenating, right? Tracy

Yeah, totally. Well, first you make your habits and then your habits make you totally right. So it's okay to schedule rest at the beginning to create that rhythm and giving ourselves permission to rest. So that permission that came one time for me with someone said, just on your calendar, just write the word. You just write while you are on your calendar. Because then if someone says, you could say, I've got something on the calendar, write the word “something”. And if someone asks you to do, you could actually say, I have something on my calendar. And it's you. But that is more than just. I have that thing on my calendar. I like that because if I don't pause and process, I will live out of the knee jerk reaction versus the pause and think response.

Right. Like the slow down. Right. Let me get back to you. Thank you for asking me. Right. Like those things. I think that permission piece is a big deal for a lot of us. Just. Yeah, just allowing ourselves to rest. Like knowing that we can rest and, I guess part for me when I was researching this, I found this helped me with that permission piece.

Val

So I became very interested to know what God had to say about rest. He actually talks a lot about rest in the Bible, and he makes it very clear that he wants us to rest, and that's what's best for us. So I just want to talk for a minute about why this might be. Why do you ladies think that God wants us to rest? I think God wants us to rest because he knows how good rest was for him, both as God the Creator and as Jesus. In both forms, if you will. God rested and made a point of talking about Jesus pulling away from the crowds and going off in solitude. He made a point in the creation story of saying, on the seventh day he rested and just enjoyed what he had created.

Sue

Kind of like in the episode that I did on struggle, where we looked at that one simple verse. Jesus wept. It's complete in itself. And so I think when God makes a very simple and concise statement like that, there's a reason for us to look at it again. I think it's just good for us. He knows how important it is to enjoy the fruits of your labor and have time with your thoughts and with him. As Jesus did. So those would be I mean, that's my general thing. There's personal reasons why I know it's good for me. That's what I would think are sort of the general loves that.

Catherine

I love that, too. I love the picture of, like, he actually showed us that this is what we're made for and did it himself. Yeah, right. Like the perfect model. And, yeah, I wrote down, like, temple care, right? Like, if, like, we are actually his temple and he shows us that we need it. It's a legitimate need that we were created for. But I also just feel so much like for me, it's this illustration of how we were created for margin and how there was meant to be even boundaries on people's property. There's this margin for other things. Right. So that those, you know, work for six years, seventh year rest, you know, all those pieces increase also our dependance is saying like it's all yours and we depend on you. We trust you. Aside from the rejuvenation that we need and the being present, it's living out of the truth of who we are and connection to, like, the world and him.

Sue

And right when you talk about margins that it makes me think about even in nature when you're planting crops, the ground is left for a year just to rejuvenate itself. So it's even a picture in nature. Yeah. And even winter dormancy for trees like these are rhythms. Yes. Of rest.

Tracy

Yes. Like, oh, we found love and rhythms of rest is such a good for. Sorry. It's a good book. Yeah, but there's a renewal. I think it is. We'll put that. We'll put that in the show notes again. And I love that you both touched on God modeling rest because God himself is limitless. So he chooses those places. And, you know, when I think about that, his first heart is like he's compassionate. He knows how much we need rest. But one of the things that I've really kind of recognized over the past couple of years is that, like, why does God want us to rest? Because he wants us to know that he is God and we are not in our lives. I mean, as Jesus a human and walking our journey, he rested. But, it's so countercultural to say we have limits. I am limited, and it sounds so opposite, but it's actually one of the most liberating truths to step into that he is God, and I am not, he is God and I am not. And then it doesn't all come on our shoulders right? It doesn't all depend on us. We don't have to figure it all out. He is God and we are not. And then there's peace in this. I love the Scripture, the boundary lines, the boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places.

Val

Yeah. Sometimes it's annoying to be limited, right? Like it's just going to not be God so much. That's like the gift of limits though we talked about in capacity… what does it really mean to redefine that as a gift, like yeah it stinks. That's right. And that is true. Yeah. When I thought of this I think of that verse in John ten verse ten, the thief comes only to steal and destroy. And I have come that they may have life and have it to the full. And the better I get to know God, the more I see that what God commands or recommends, it's for our good, so that we can have life to the fullest, right? So I believe rest is one of these things, and the thief would love to have us exhausted and worn out with no margin.

Right. And then we can't enjoy God. We can't enjoy or even seek after his purposes because we're not rested. And I've also been thinking of generational effects lately, of sin or blessings. And wouldn't it be cool to be able to pass on this to our children the model of rest? Because that's what we want for them, right? We don't want them to be going at exhaustion, maximum capacity. So I think generationally we can pass this on to our children if we can learn how to model rest. And we have to want this for ourselves if we want it for them. Yeah, right. Totally. That's that breaking of generational dysfunction and looking at the patterns of what we live in, right. And it is really exciting because we can see the fruit in our kids. It's really neat. Yeah, yeah. I would have to say that this is something I learned better from my daughter than I taught her. I think she's very, very good at taking time for herself. Yeah that's my daughter and it is cool.

Sue

Shout out to Skye. She's very very busy but she's very good at setting time aside. And I've watched and learned from her. So there's a reverse generational blessing. Yeah. That's cool.

Val

Over the last few months I've also realized that rest is actually a really complex topic. I wasn't expecting this, and, it seems so simple like, but it's actually not. It's really complex. I started looking through Bible passages and reading about rest, and the passages contain all these variations and ideas of what rest looks like. So God talks about resting on the seventh day Sabbath like we already talked about, Jesus talks about leaving the crowd to go to a quiet place to rest, which is what you were talking about Catherine.

God says that his presence is rest, and God says that he will give us rest for our souls. So clearly these verses show that rest is complex. It's not just laying on the couch and taking a nap, but it can be. It appears that there are basically two different kinds of rest: stopping and abiding. So stopping is literally stopping Sabbath. If you translate that literally, it means to stop. And God also talks about this other type of rest that happens when we abide in him, when we sit with him, when we chat with him, when we surrender to him in his presence, when we abide with him. So he talks about these two different kinds of rest and I am intrigued because I've never really considered different kinds of rest, and that I might need different kinds of rest at different times. And that God wants us to know that there's different types of rest. So I'm wondering what your thoughts are about this. Has there been a time when you knew what you needed was to stop, or was there a time when you knew, no, I need to abide right now. So chat with me about that. Okay. I'm going to tackle this one.

Sue

For me, they go hand in hand very much. When I thought about how I rest. My format involves usually a place going somewhere to be alone with God. That is my deepest rest. So it's a both and, because I stop what I'm doing and I go to be with God and I've got a few places I've got, I've got a tree that I visit which unfortunately just got cut down. I need to find a new place. Sorry. That's a sad story. And this is Seymour. But anyhow, but there's a place on the beach that I go to, and one of my favorite things, that my husband and I do together is we'll put on this beautiful music track and just sit in the living room, dim the lights, kind of opposite ends of the couch, and we call it soaking. I mean, it's not a new concept, but we will soak for an evening. And there are times when we've both been busy and, you know, John will look at me and say to me, “let's soak like I want to soak tonight”. You know, and it's beautiful. Like, I'm not alone. But we're not talking, we don't talk. Sometimes I'll write. Sometimes I'll sketch. Like, I'll have a little doodle pad or something. But it's just my thoughts and really good thoughts coming into me. Beautiful music, you know? So it's for me, it's a both. And I find my deepest sense of rest is with God. Yeah. So I love that you point out that because that there's the, the stopping and the abiding.

Tracy

Amen. That is because that rest is really found in his presence. Regardless. Right. I mean that is that invitation of abiding. I had a specific situation this fall that was very much the stop. There was something that was just too much on the schedule, and I had to give my permission to stop something that I'd invested in. And, you know, there's only so much that we can do. But I think the example that came to mind, kind of like Sue was saying, when I think about rest and where rest really began to be defined in my heart was in 2007. And it's very much a combination of the stopping and the abiding, although I hadn't recognized the stopping necessarily in it. And in 2007, I took my mom to Scotland. It was a bucket list kind of memory and experience, and I had planned for that trip, and something came up on that trip that totally changed the planning. And in the middle of that, God just said so clearly to me. And it's echoed ever since. Rest in me and leave the rest to me.

And that resting. So resting in him is the abiding. But the and leave the rest to me is that letting go and often that mental letting go. And I was thinking just this morning, I'm listening to a song that I really enjoy, and it often wakes me up in the morning mentally, and it just says, I'm so blessed. I'm so blessed. I've got this heartbeat in my chest. Doesn't matter about the rest. If I've got you, Lord, I'm so blessed. So that resting, realizing rest in itself has two different meanings is often how God goes. Oh yeah, and it also means this. So leaving it with him is sometimes the rest that allows for the abiding. I love that I connect with everything you ladies are saying.

Catherine

When you were talking just there Tracy, I was thinking of my kids when they were stressed about school or whatever. We made this like saying we work hard, we do our best, we trust in God for all the rest. Right? But that word rest has two meanings, right? Like I can stop. And so that's beautiful. And like you Sue, for me, the concepts are very like interwoven. Because I realized that if I'm not actually actually stopping, I'm often not abiding anyways, even though I think I'm abiding. So if I loop into striving, even though I might have these pauses with God, I'm not really like, truly abiding because there's no peace right? Like you, Tracy, if I can't be present, I can't be in his presence. And I often say that to my clients. Right. Like, how do we learn to be present? Because in his presence is righteousness, peace, and joy. If we can't actually be present, it's so hard to be connected with him. So, even though I could be spending time with him, like, you know, I did my devotional and I'm on to the next thing, I'm on to the next thing.

I'm not bearing the fruit of peace. Yeah, I was sitting with him, but not really connected. And I actually wrote a blog post about, you know, needing to spill to fill. And if I didn't actually spill, It feels like jamming donuts into your car when the lights are all on. We actually need that pit stop to refuel. And so, you know, even as I'm talking to you about the last episode of The Puzzlers, I need to both to stop and abide. I thought I was abiding, you know, I'm claiming your promises. God, I'm like. I'm. But I wasn't stopping. I needed both to be able to enter into that true rest and peace of him and the permission to rest, even like back to that idea of holding hoops.

Tracy

I heard a truth one time that landed for me, and this woman said, it's as simple as coffee and time with Jesus. And so that creating space in the early morning to not even necessarily be reading my Bible or I love to study. I love the word. But just sitting with coffee and the puppies and just being present, like you said, we meet him in the present and just allowing him to say something or say nothing, and just knowing that's okay too because there's not a right way to do time with him.

Sue

We're also individuals and it looks different. We need to actually listen into the differences. Absolutely. I'm with you. And that so connects to what you were saying about the routines becoming habits. So mine actually came because of having kids and trying to find time with Jesus was like, this is so hard, I'm not supposed to do this. And realizing that if I put my Bible at the table, it was like brekkie and Bible, and they watched and it was like, oh, this. They're seeing me actually like, spend time with Jesus. So that's okay. It doesn't have to be like alone. Alone. It was like I carved it out. So, you know, one of the things is a Bible sits at the breakfast table. If it's not there, it usually doesn't happen because it's like it's not connected routine for me. And how great that your kids got to see that. Talk about paying things forward to the next generation. So good. And that rhythm is the message version of the passage that talks about being yoked to him. This one phrase is come and learn from me the unforced rhythms of grace.

Catherine

And I think that's so beautiful because like putting the Bible there like those habits that you mentioned Sue, there's rhythms, there's habits and there's grace. The unforced rhythms of grace leads to rest. Yeah, these are really good. You guys. I've already been hearing some, you know, different strategies coming through, but we know that God wants us to rest.

Val

He tells us that we need to rest. But what? This is hard for us, humans. We require discipline and intention and often contemplation to be able to rest. So I want to just throw out for our listeners and for me, some ideas, you know, how do you guys rest? What are some strategies that you guys use?

Tracy

I can, you know, go, oh, I can jump in because mine are both quite connected to my work environment. It comes up other places, but it can be high stress and busy. And one of the things there but in life overall is just pausing, deliberately pausing for a moment in my day, that deep breath drawing a line between what was and what is happening. Because if you get off a call or something like that, then you can just carry that forward. So not only just that deep breath, but sometimes physically, like I will leave the office spaces and literally I will flop or not like bend over at the waist and just a physical posture change to say like a bodily prayer. Sometimes we can't even pray, but we can pray with our body, right? And so just signaling to my body, okay, like you're not being chased by a sabertooth tiger or who is having challenges and God loves them. And there's a lot of learning and love in the marketplace. And I value that idea and I really receive that. But for me, being able to go that is finished.

Deep breath. I can enter into things so that the boundaries that you're talking about or just building that buffer on a physiological place. The other one is just really fun. And again, relating to work and mental fatigue that can come. I have an hour drive to and from work. And so one of the things that I do is I've given myself permission, if you will, not to like I listen to audiobooks and other ones, but now I listen to just fun, silly. Once on the way home, I have a favorite author who's called Donna Andrews, and she's a cozy mystery writer, and it's witty and it's it's just really like her titles of her books, to give you an idea. They're all bird themed, and she'll have, like, owls. Well, that ends well. Her Christmas is seven geese are slaying and reading cockatiels at seven right now. Just something light and joyful because like, we take ourselves too seriously sometimes. And so sometimes our brain just needs to play. So that drive home is allowing my brain to just play and they can take over. And we're not even reading it, right. Yeah. That's something to look forward to. Yes, yes. Something to look forward to.

Catherine

So good too, because it's like that whole capacity and just jamming. One more thing in your car ride could easily be, oh, listen to that podcast or listen to this. And you're like, I'm purposely saying the same thing for me, like lunch. Even when I was a teacher, it was one more hour to do something else. I was working with kids for my lunch break. Like, you know, it was like that. We just can keep going. And then like, lunch is no longer a work period. It is a stop period to like to actually have those spaces in the day that are like, this is a boundary and it's an option when it's an option and it's not an option when it's not an option. So that's to refresh, to move, to think about gratitude or other things, right. To actually have those timelines and the gift of limits. You know, and along the same lines, for me, it's like, the computer gets like shut, right? It's not like you can always open. It's like it's meant to be closed after supper. With rare occasions. That's a really good day. I just say, like, we think about the laptops meant to be closed because we're transporting it, but just that line, like it's meant to be closed. It doesn't need to always be open. We don't always have to be on. Yeah. So my office space is meant to be closed. Even in the family, you know, we had the phone jail like it's in for me.

I can get messages all the time. And so it's like it goes to the kitchen. It's not near me. If it's near me, I'll be checking. Right. Also, who just sent me a message. Right. So. And to be honest, to you, all those things for me, learning rest was distress tolerance. Like the only way that I could do that was that my needs matter and the others might not see it that way. And their means matter to both. Not either are more important, but it's like you said its both. And so I had to redefine what that look like to have purposeful rhythms of rest. And not necessarily like huge chunks. Like those are chunks, but like moments, like this. This is like. And so I don't know if you guys are familiar with the pause app, right where it's like purposefully you can set like a little alarm and it's like this reminder to breathe.

Catherine

It's a reminder to like everything is in your hands, like a breath prayer. So just really knowing that those needs to be placed within my day so that I can mindset and heart set and calendar set and. Right. And yeah, prioritizing like that. I work out of the rest versus I rest when there's stuff left from work.

Val

And, yeah, that makes me think of Daniel from the Bible. Well, he prayed three times a day. Yes, I remember his window. I have to think. Oh, that would be a really good reset if we just learn how to rhythm that. I find much like rest. I mean things have to be scheduled for me.

Sue

I love to think that I was, you know, a really just fly by the seat of my pants person. And I do love adventure, but I love adventure when it takes me from my routine because routines help me rest like that is where I feel most relaxed. When I kind of know where things are, I like organization, because it sets my mind at ease, and I don't waste a lot of time looking for things and feeling frantic. Yeah. So for me, routine and organization are really good. But the other thing that I have really learned this year, a lot of my routines and organization have changed drastically this year. I'm in new places, and so I've had to to reset. But one of the things I lost was my regular workout. And when I am physically active I can rest physically better. And also scheduling a physical workout for me is a restful thing. Yes. It's very peace giving. It just that is time that I'm focused and I'm doing set routine and I know my way around the gym and I feel really good with that. So that is something I have just reset into my life because.

And I'm already feeling this. This feels like me. I feel like a returning to myself, kind of patting myself on the back a little bit. But that's a good thing, because routines and this goes back to it's different for everybody, right? A lot of people might say your workout is rest. It really is. Oh, yeah, it really is. It's not lying on the couch, but it is. The opposite brings me rest. So. And I love scheduling. Yeah, those times. Because otherwise you don't put that time aside and then you're like, oh, I should have done that. Which adds to your chaos, right? Right, right. Yeah. And I totally resonate with you too, on, the scheduling, when I start to feel anxiety creeping up, if, because my schedule is too full, then I need to look at it and I need to say like, what can I take out of here?

Val

For instance, the week before this podcast, there were just a lot of things in my schedule. And so I just looked at what can I take out? I actually rescheduled a dentist appointment, so it freed up a few hours. I talked to my husband. You know, our typical, you know, duties that we each have. Could you do some of mine this week? And, like, if he's in that circumstance, I can grab some of his. So just sort of managing it even pre, you know, looking at it in advance so that I keep my rest and my capacity at a good place. Right. I and along with planning is reassessing. Yeah. Right. And I think that's what you're saying because it's like it can be on the calendar but it's fallen off the calendar.

Catherine

Yeah. It's like so and honestly one of my routines is like the Sunday look, you know like vision casting for the week sometimes with my husband and reassessing, you know what's what's the priority this week. Yeah. What's Sunday is a great night for that. And I just I also should say like sometimes no matter what we do and how we strategize and how we do all the right things sometimes it just, you know what, we're going to go over capacity and what do we do then?

Val

I mean, I just have this picture of someone falling back into another person's arms, you know, and they fall and their armpits are, you know, resting there, and the other one's, like holding them up, basically. And I think sometimes we just need to say to God, you know what? You need to hold me up right now. I've overdone it and just ask him to show you where you can find margin in this time. I'm speaking from experience, since this was my life, right. I was being carried through the last week, so, Yeah, I just wanted to put that out there. Because we try to control it to the best of our ability and implement rest. But there are times when we can't control everything. Absolutely. What you're saying just makes me think of Craig Rochelle and how he talks about Daniel, because you refer to Daniel and his three times and he's talking about consistency and he's like, do you think he ever liked it in one day?

Catherine

Like, right. And it's like, what is consistency? It's not stopping. So we might have these moments where we've had a setback, but like how do we go back to like actually what we're saying we want to live out of and what we are saying we want to value. So, yeah, well, I'd love to wrap up this episode in a resting prayer together, stopping and abiding together.

Val

So if you're driving, you may have to adjust. But for the rest of us, I invite you to close your eyes. Let's take a nice big inhale and breathe out.

Breathe in. And out.

Relax your jaw.

Relax your eyes.

Relax your hands.

Bring awareness to your body. Your chest rising and falling.

Bring awareness to God's presence that is all around you.

He is with you.

Thank you, God, for being here. Your presence is rest for our souls.

God, teach us how to rest better.

Show us lies that we are believing in regards to rest.

Pour out your truth over us.

God, we want to live our lives to the fullest. Amen, Amen, Amen. And that takes us to the end of episode three. I'd like to encourage everyone this week to contemplate and even implement some Rest strategies this week. Ask yourself, do I need to stop? Or do I need to abide? And remember that this is God's advice for you? He says that it will bring you life. I'd like to end with a quote that my fellow puzzler Catherine, sent me a few weeks ago, which I loved. Nicola Jane Hobbs says it well, instead of asking, have I worked hard enough to deserve rest, I've started asking, have I rested enough to do my most loving and meaningful work?

Thank you everyone for joining us today. Thank you, puzzlers for your willingness to dialog, and please join us on our next episode. Catherine, tell us what we're coming to next Wednesday. Excited. So in our next episode, we are going to be talking about permission to fail forward and make mistakes and be a perfectly imperfect human, as well as what sabotages our ability to be okay, being real and in honesty embrace what Brené Brown calls the gifts of imperfection.

Catherine

So it's going to be a real, honest, authentic conversation. Be prepared not to have it all together, to be real about struggles. so good! It's going to be fun. Can't wait.