Permission: Granted
Show Notes
Connect with The Puzzlers LIVE on May 2 & 3, 2025 at CULTIVATE, Agora Ministry’s first annual women's conference, designed to build community and foster spiritual, relational and emotional growth. More information is available here.
To learn more about
Val's Book and to order
The Worry/Free Challenge, please go to her website by
clicking here.
Sue's Book Shadow Gifts: Finding Beauty in the Darkness can be purchased here.
Connect with Catherine as a transformational life coach by going to her website.
Curious about her cute canines? Learn more about Tracy's new business at happyheartshavanese.com or by emailing her at happyheartshavanese@gmail.com
Transcript
Nicole
Welcome to The Puzzler season two. My name is Nicole Arnt and I'm the producer of The Puzzlers. Creating this podcast has been an incredible journey for all of us. And here we are again, sitting in front of our microphones almost a year after recording season one. To set the scene for you. We are back in the basement. Only this time it's a new house because drumroll Sue got married. So, Sue, how long has it been since the big day?
Sue
Well, I got married January 1st to keep it simple, so I would always remember. So. January 1st, 2024.
Nicole
All right. Congratulations again to you. And to John Sue's husband. When you're listening to this. Thank you for opening your home to the puzzlers and for kindly giving us space to record these next five episodes. So to all of you. Welcome to a new season of The Puzzlers. If you haven't listened to season one, please don't miss out. We tackled some big topics there like anxiety, grief, overwhelm and capacity. It would be totally worth it for you to go back and catch up on the content of season one. You can find us on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and other platforms.
And hey, if you like what you hear, hit that subscribe button and leave a review. Your feedback truly means the world to us. Knowing our conversations resonate with you is what keeps us going. I also want to give a bit of a shout out to everyone who reached out to us during or after season one. You encouraged us and kept us motivated and we excited to bring you more of these diverse and meaningful conversations.
Now, let me reintroduce the puzzlers to you and catch up on what everyone's been up to. While we have been off the air. So let's start with Catherine. Tell me, what's one thing you have done since our last recording that required you to step out in faith?
Catherine
Thanks, Nicole. What a good question. So for me, honestly, these steps were more organic than pre-decided. So I wouldn't consider it so much as a stepping out as a keeping in step with God. I saw it more like an unfolding. And I know it's a term that you four puzzlers know, I like to use about how God kind of creates one step in front of the other, and I don't necessarily see the connection until he unfolded it.
So kind of walking through that, that's what happened to me recently, another unfolding. So for me, it's been about how God's been enlarging my business to be my ministry business. So many referrals, so many clients across Canada, the US and even South America now. And yeah, so it's been exciting. Any enlarge the circles of influence as well?
Because I started coaching more couples and families as well as individuals. So that's been a lot of joy relationally, emotionally, spiritually working in connection with, not just one person, but like freedom and families and, enlarging the business also entailed writing a book which is, being worked on and, starting to speak at conferences. And stay tuned about that thought, because more will be coming, including all of us.
So, yeah, it's been, really needing to reassess what would both enlarge my capacity and allow me to stay in the gift of limits. So for me, that was about not going back to old stress responses of being an over preparer and really thinking about how to not go beyond my capacity and, prioritize what he was telling me to do. So setting limits and moving forward. And it's been exciting.
Nicole
Wow. Just listening to you, that seems like you have a very big capacity because that is a lot. And it's exciting, right? Like it's you, it's life giving for you. So which is so amazing. So how about you, Sue, aside from getting married to what has happened?
Sue
Well, you kind of took my answer. I have to say, that that's the that's the biggest step of faith that I took since we last met. I mean, as you've we've already covered January 1st I got married. And the reason it's so big is because any time that you get married, you marry not just the person, but you. You marry the person's family.
And I mean, at this stage of life, that means I now have six new adult air quotes "Children". Wow. And they're eight children, so I've got eight grandchildren, like, instantaneously, as well as my two adult children and their adult partners. My daughter's engaged. I'm just going to say that. So I've got that to look forward to.
But but this is a big change. I went from living alone for ten years and being responsible for myself to day in, day out, really a constant awareness of many other people in my life. Again, forming relationships and, and just navigating everybody's established lives. Right? And I mean, everybody's stories aren't mine to tell. So, I mean, it's not that there are, you know, big issues or anything like that to deal with.
It's really coming together really very beautifully. But you still have so much to consider, is what I'm saying. These are adult lives. These aren't little children for the most part. And so that has been a real faith walk and, needing to lean in very strongly to the fact that I believe this is exactly where God wants me to be and has placed me and my husband, John, and that means all of our children and their children. It's, I believe, God's will. And so that's where I rest. And, yeah, that has been a a very personal faith walk. Lots of other things too, but that's the biggest thing. Yeah.
Nicole
For sure. Yeah, I bet. That's beautiful. So, Tracy.
Tracy
Well, lots of things, but one word. Dogs. Yeah, I guess I can explain. There's a call on my heart and has been for decades that I call entrepreneurial ministry. So business with heart. And that's had different expressions through the years, two decades in the wellness industry, all the way up to my current role as an operations manager for an eavestrough company, which my husband still laughs at because I've learned things about eavestrough that I never knew before.
But in all of those things, there's been this common theme and something God spoke to my heart a lot of years ago, and it was just the business is mine. Your job is to be love in the marketplace. So that marketplace ministry and that love in the marketplace with customer service that has all kinds of opportunities. But our most recent adventure is launching Happy Hearts Havanese.
And so after close to 20 years breeding, having these dogs, my sister in Alberta has retired and she set up us up with two lovely little females, full blood sisters, Ellie, Esperanza and Annie Joy Esperance. And both of their second names mean Hope. And they joined our family in June at 13 months old and eight weeks old.
And so our home has gone through all kinds of renovations. We've got new fencing, we've got things happening, and they came home to a house that already had three rabbits, two cats, a senior dog and five adults living in it. So there's a lot of pieces. But in love in the marketplace with happy hearts, it's our heart to have prayer soaked puppies into homes and cultivate connection and community and kingdom in the process.
And so the biggest step of faith isn't just the dogs. But most recently, this step is into the Jordan River. You know, we talk about, the Red sea parts, and other times you step in and get your feet wet. So we actually put a deposit down on a male puppy for breeding before we even had or have yet. Fingers crossed. I'm waiting to hear, a home for this male puppy to leave because he can't live with us. He only gets to visit the girls. So that's dogs and everything connected has been a part of our jump.
Nicole
Wow. So? So we have for Catherine. It's predominantly her coaching business. For Sue, it's a new family. Extended family. For Tracy, it's dogs. And what is it for Val?
Val
Well, it's not as exciting as dogs, that's for sure. And those dogs are so very cute. They are so cute. The first thing that jumped out at me was getting my book published. Oh, yeah. No, it's still not quite there, but it's almost there. So. But this required me to take a full leap of faith.
I realized at one of my writer's meetings that I was like, half in, half out, and that just wasn't working. So I decided, you know what? I'm putting aside, other things, and I'm prioritizing this for this year. And, yeah, there are times, and I was about to throw in the towel for sure. And actually, at one point I just had to say to God, look, I literally cannot do this.
There was some things that required a skill set that I did not have. And I said, like, you need to do this or it isn't going to happen. And then he provided like, it's super cool to be in that circumstance because then all of a sudden there he pulls it out for you in this, last month.
It's sort of where it's coming to fruition. So I've had to make a conscious decision, to be aware that I'm partnering with God in this. And I've kind of felt like we're partnering together, and I'm chatting with him like a business partner, almost. And, well, basically who knows a lot more and holds the whole world and all of that.
It's good, but it was very good for a very good partnership. But yeah, at the end of the month, possibly, or at the at least by the end of the year, the book will be released into the world. Actually, it already is. It's on Amazon. But, but the official release to the world.
Nicole
We're gonna we're going to put a link in the show notes and, and maybe some photos of the puppies as well. Yeah. That's definitely going to be your highlight. So so let's transition a bit to this season of The Puzzlers. At one of our last in-person meetings, we decided to be puzzling over the question, why is it so hard to dot, dot, dot?
Or phrased another way, what do we want or need permission for? Now, we are not talking about literal permission from someone else. It's more about those things. We don't give ourselves permission to do these things we hesitate to explore. Maybe because they feel embarrassing, wasteful, or even shameful. So I'm curious, how would you complete that sentence? Why is it so hard to ... or what would you like to have permission to do?
And here's the fun part. Whatever you answer is will shape the topic of the episode. You will host. So who wants to start?
Sue
Okay, I'm just going to dive in because everybody's just looking at each other. Okay, so here is my question, I really want to look at why do we find it so hard to share our struggles.
It's, this is just so important to me because I am a recovering perfectionist and I have needed permission to lower my standards and to not be perfect. I've had to give myself permission to not have all the answers, to not always be in control. And I've needed permission to fail, to hurt, to be weak. And although being any one of those things in itself would be enough, I've also needed to give myself per mission to take the pressure off myself of needing to cover up any of those things.
You know those moments when you run into somebody that you know and you say, oh, I'm fine, I'm fine, no problem, when really you are dying inside. And and what is it you say, Tracy? Fine is feelings inside not expressed?
Tracy
No. That's Catherine and it's a much prettier. I'll share mine in a moment. I'll share mine in the next episode.It's not as pretty.
Sue
But the whole thing is. Yeah, it's saying we are fine. It is a cover up, and we all do it really well. And this is something. It quite frankly means so much to me that I am the third person in this group who's done a book this year, and my book is all about struggles and actually the beauty of them.
So I really want to look at that question. One of my favorite sayings is joy shared is doubled, pain shared is halved. So let's share it. And talk about why we don't. Why?
Nicole
That is amazing.
Sue
Yeah, I think so.
Catherine
Looking forward to it.
Val
Well, in my episode, we'll be puzzling over the question: Why is it so hard to rest? Yeah I'm sensing the amen, sister. (..) Yeah. Most people would agree that this is a really tough question.
And so in my episode we're going to take a closer look at some of the barriers of rest and also want to reflect on what God has to say about rest, which is actually super cool.
Tracy
And I can share because mine is very connected to Val's comment on rest. My question is: Why is it so hard to live playfully? My two new puppies play, romping through the yard, tumbling over each other, inviting us to play and the joy on their faces and adult ravens have been observed sliding down snowy slopes on their backs, flying back to the top and sliding back down again.
Bison, and I love this, bison have been seen repeatedly running onto frozen lakes on all fours and trumpeting exultantly as they go, and then hippos in the water doing backflips over and over and over and over again. Animals play. You see it all the time. Why do we find it so hard to give ourselves permission to play?
And I've been really inspired this year by the work of Doctor Stuart Brown, who founded the National Play Institute. And he says, true play is self-expression, and he equates play, even biologically, on par almost with nutrition and rest. So my question is, no matter how hard we drive ourselves, we eat. Maybe not well, but we eat and we sleep. Why don't we give ourselves permission to play? That's what we'd like to explore in my episode.
Catherine
So good. Ladies, I am so excited for this session. This segment two. And it's so weird because like, we met and we just started talking about like, these things that are so hard for us to do. And, you know, what do we need to give ourselves permission to?
And remember when all of the ideas were kind of being shot around and somebody said, permission to like, why is it so hard to get messy, make mistakes or fail? Right. Like, and, somebody was like, are you okay with that topic, Catherine? And I'm like, yeah, I sure am. Right? Like, I was actually excited because this topic is so near to my heart.
It's so relevant to our ability to thrive as the people that God intended us to be, to live in freedom and to not have these lies or limiting beliefs that really, you know, hold us back from being everything that God's called us to be. And so, I'm excited because this digging in and processing of all these topics, I didn't think they were linked.
But the more I've been processing, they are so, so linked. And, so yeah, I'm excited about the power that we have in this whole series to reframe instead of living out of definitions, measures that we kind of unconsciously just took on and defined ourselves or our lives and usually came in from wounds. Right? So I'm excited about us looking into truth.
That's the heart of what I do as a transformation coach. And a lot of that has to do with, like, our fear of failure or making mistakes or being vulnerable or being real or struggling or, you know, just keeping going. So it's going to be an awesome season.
Nicole
All right. So let's get started. In the spirit of permission to play, I think we will kick it off with a little improv game.
And it's going to be a fun way to get to know the puzzlers a bit more and give us permission to dream and imagine. So here's my question to you. If you could wave a magic wand, who would you be and what would you do? So and please don't overanalyze any of this, okay? It's nothing at stake here. It's just a game. I don't have a magic wand, unfortunately. But tell me what it is the first thing that comes to your mind?
Catherine
I love that so much. Nicole. That's so freeing. I often help my clients think outside the box by saying, well, if I had a magic wand and there was no limits, what would you like to see change or happen in your life? Your relationship? It's fun. But hilariously, when you said that, who would I be and what would I do? I would be me. Here. I would be a transformational life coach, and I love the joy of what I do every day. It's like when I was a teacher and people would say, what would you do if you won the lottery?
I feel like I do this. I teach and empower kids, and then when I was a pastor, people said, what would you do? I'm like, I would do this. And so actually, it's so funny because right now I'm like, I would do this. This is still what I would do because it's such a joy to walk with people every day and empower them.
I never thought I'd have the career I do now, and yet I could never imagine not doing it. But, what I have to say about the wand, I could definitely use it. I would wave the wand and I would have written my book. Actually, lots of books, I would have written the courses that are circling around in my head, and they would be all done, and I would be traveling on a maybe a book tour. That would be exciting, right?
I haven't really gone a lot of places, so it'd be fun to go across Canada, go to the US, visit some of Europe. Can I use the wand one more time? Actually, I would get a big huge barn for running women's events, courses and healing groups. That's the dream. No, wait, wait. One more thing. I would want a huge greenhouse and garden. A greenhouse for other events and family gatherings and gardening. There.
Nicole
There's a reason I put a limit on things. But that sounds amazing. Actually, for some reason, I feel like it sounds achievable.
Catherine
Yeah, I know.
Sue
There is a there is a reason why we are friends. Why this group came together.
Catherine
Because you're in a barn.
Sue
But no, there, there really is. I mean, there are there are similarities amongst us. As a group and then differences. But our similarities, well, our mutual faith, I think is our greatest similarity, but I just love where we crossover. Because, as I mentioned earlier, three of us in this group have books ready to be birthed, you know, like any moment now. And, one sort of and one transitional birth. Yeah, completely in the, in the heart and mind and computer.
Yes, exactly. But it's interesting, Catherine, because for years I've been a communicator of sorts. I've done interior design and I've written scripts for other people and I've done voiceovers and presentation for other people, and I've always wanted to do my, to, to have the, platform to express my own ideas and, and communicate my own thoughts and feelings and, revelations even.
And so that was the birth of my book, if you would ask me this question, the magic wand question, three years ago, four years ago, 15 years ago, I would have told you I wanted to be a public speaker. And that's happening now, like it's this platform in a way. But with my book coming, that that is where I see God taking me.
And, so I have a very similar answer to yours, and it's moving forward like it's still in front of me, but I feel it unfolding. There, Catherine, I used your word. I do feel it unfolding. And so that is, that is really exciting. There's nothing wrong with magic wands. Nothing at all. Love them. But if you start with the magic wand stage, I just want to say like, give that magic wand wish to God in the form of a prayer and see what he'll do with it, because that's where there's, there's real magic.
Nicole
Amen, sister.
Catherine
I always say, get yourself a God sized dream, put it on the altar and see what He does when He brings it back to life.
Tracy
Well, I have a magic wand, one that I don't know that He necessary will do, because my first one that came was, if I could wave a magic, magic wand over my life: I would walk on the ocean depths, I would stand on the very top, top of highest mountains, and I would do a twirling dance on the rings of Saturn.
And so there's a magic wand for you, but it also showed you a little bit of the poet. So it's the poet piece in there. And one of the things that I recognize that actually ties into some of the other ones was, each of those things have to do with God being my breath. You don't breathe in the ocean depth. You don't breathe on the mountain, tippy, tippy tops and you sure can't dance. And I always wanted to see Saturn, but you can't breathe in outer space. So, I have more Earth sized dreams, if you will. I would love to live part of my year in the UK, writing or whatever. Following genealogies like that's another whole rabbit hole.
Exploring, my husband's from family line is from Normandy. But when I sat with this question again recently, I had a thought land that was very unexpected. And when I thought, what do I want? The answer that came was, I want to live a wild, crazy life that I have absolutely no control over. And I thought, my first thought was, where did that come from?
Oh my gosh. And the second was, that's the life I'm living, right now, right here. And so in my life and in my journey in that question of faith, and with everything that's going on in that stepping out, I said, I don't even feel like I have a mustard seed. I feel like I've maybe got a celery seed sized faith at times. But He takes that and he delights in that. So, I have even asked God, what is that gift of faith? Like, if, you know, we talk about that, I want to receive that. And so, yeah, I want to live a wild, crazy life that I have no control over.
Catherine
I love that, Tracy. Oh I'm on the wildest ride with the most wonderful driver. Like it's the craziest adventure, right? We can't, we can't make this stuff up.
Tracy
Roller coaster has been my year and buckled in. Right. You're safe. And so there's play and fun but that's a different conversation.
Val
That's a great combo. But you're buckled in.
Tracy
You're buckled in, but your stomach is flipping over.
Val
I love how all of us are sort of, we wave the magic wand but we're all really content also in where we're at. And so I would say that's true for me as well. When I first heard the question but because that's a bit boring. I'll just go on. I, the actual next thought I had was, if I was allowed to time travel, then I would.
I know this sounds very Christianese. But, I would go to where Jesus lived on earth, and then I would love to have a conversation with him. I just feel like if I saw him face to face, I would feel peace and I would, I would just you know, I would have the big picture. I would know it's all okay.
I would just love to know what his voice was like. And I would just love that. But more of an earthly want. I would actually love to wave my family, all four of us, onto an island in Fiji.
Catherine
Can we come?
Val
That's not really in my wand experience.
Catherine
Get your own island, Catherine.
Catherine
Can I do one again?
Val
No. You abused your wand. But, my island would be very rustic. It would have beautiful beaches and a lot of wildlife and definitely all inclusive. And then, if the want still had a little juice in it, I would wave it over my couch, because I would really like a new couch. (...) If you saw my couch, you would understand.
Nicole
I love it so. Well, that's just a taste of who these four incredible ...
Sue
Oh, wait wait wait. Just one second. Nicole. You are not getting away without the magic wand.
Nicole
There's some juice left.
Sue
We'll give you a little bit of juice from each of our wands and you go. Go right ahead.
Val
I live with my old couch for awhile.
Nicole
So, I actually hoped it would just, I would just let you guys answer that question. And, I mean, if you want to know... the first thought that came to mind before, and let me highlight that, before I had a chance to edit it, was: I would love to be a part of the Mamma Mia cast on Broadway... and dance and act to help the audience forget their reality for a couple of hours. And I say that with the assumption that I actually would get all the necessary abilities to do that.
Catherine
Oh, that's part of the wand. It's all inclusive.
Nicole
All right, so, but before anyone comments on this, so let me just tell you that this thought only lasted for a few seconds because another voice appeared in my mind, saying how I could waste a wish on something so fluffy and irrelevant and, looking kind of have to agree. Even though I think it would be a ton of fun. So my revised answer to the question is, I would like to work with a team to create interactive and immersive experiences for people so rich, they can discover their true identity.
Catherine
Oh, I like, I thought you were going to say, podcast, but okay.
Nicole
Well, that can be part of it. But yeah, I mean, it's, it's a long cry. It's a big step from being a performer on Broadway. But the topic of identity has been a big part of my own journey over the past year. And I would say it's truly a topic where I come alive. And I think understanding who we are and how God has created us and who He is to us is the key to living life to the fullest.
A lot of us are experiential learners and creating experience through the use of photography, film, interactive media, or other creative expressions which I all love, and to facilitate this discovery process of your God given identity, I think to me that sounds absolutely fascinating.
Sue
Well you've absolutely dropped seeds of that into this group. I mean you, you brought us together and we interact. And man I love getting to know ... like even listening to Tracy tonight, I'm like really like, I just learn things about you guys every time we sit down and talk. So talk about God given identity and yeah, it's really fun.
Nicole
And it is fun. And I think that's really it's like that to bring that out as well. It's fun to watch and it's fun to be part of. But it is, as Tracy said, like this roller coaster ride. Or it can be, that God might use to shake it up and bring it out (...) So, this gives you a taste of who the Puzzlers are. And I am personally very excited to listen to the thoughts of Sue, Val, Tracy and Catherine over the next couple episodes and get their insights and hold space for some candid and honest conversations. So next week, Sue will be our host. And Sue, can you give us a sneak peek of what listeners can expect?
Sue
Thanks, Nicole. Well, like I said earlier, I am really, really looking forward to exploring the question, why do we find it so hard to get real about our struggles? You know, so many people shy away from opening up about their pain or their difficulties. We apologize for crying in public. We do all manner of covering up. And personally, I find that puzzling. Reality in all its forms is rich, my friends. So we invite you to come back and find out how true that is in our next episode, when I get to host The Puzzlers.
Nicole
Thank you so much for listening to The Puzzlers, and we can't wait to welcome you back soon.
